Sea of Blue
by intotheblue101
Summary: After an accident has left Katniss's life wrecked she is sent away to live with her family friend, Haymitch. There she meets Peeta. Will he help her piece her life back together? And will she fall for him? Modern day... Sorry I'm not that great at writing summaries...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The Sentence

…

"Five minutes till transit 279 departs," a voice rang over the platform. Quickly as the voice had spoken the people who stood on the platform began to shuffle there and here. It was time, I thought, it was time for me to go. I shifted my bag on my shoulder uncomfortably as I look up to see them staring at me. They were always staring at me, Cecelia and Gale were staring at me. It wasn't a surprise, they stared at me as they had stared at me for the last several months with their worried eyes and fake smiles.

Placing her hand on my shoulder, Cecelia gave me a smile. "Best of luck to you, Katniss," she said as she gave my shoulder a slight squeeze before letting go, "I'll be coming to check on you in a couple months." I nodded; she had already explained the situation numerous times. Mother was gone leaving me in the care of our family friend, Haymitch Abernathy till the time came when I turned an acceptable age and would be able to care for myself. And being the nice and patient women she was she somehow managed to get the old drunk to agree to be my guardian. In addition she had stuck by my side during my months at the hospital and as the good social worker she was she had promised to make sure I got my life back on track even after her work with me was over.

I looked down at my old torn skinny jeans that looked to be a size too big and my sturdy faded combat boots reminding me how fragile I was now emotionally but physically. Shaking the thought out of my head I mumbled a _thank you_. I could sense Cecelia smiling knowing that she heard me. I knew those two words meant a lot to her as I had barely said anything to her beside brief _Okay's_ and _Yeah's_ along with quick nods of my head. Yet continuing to stare at my once well fitted clothing that hung on my now boney frame I heard the voice once again ring through the station, "Transit 279 will be departing momentarily."

"I'll let you two say goodbye," I heard Cecelia state before walking away. Counting to five the footsteps had faded away and I knew she was gone as I looked up to come face to face with Gale. There were no longer scratches and bruise and cuts along his cheekbone and arms. His hand was no longer wrapped in a splint and I had known his ribs had healed weeks ago. Any trace of that he had ever been part of the accident had gone as if nothing had happened. Jealousy filled me as I could feel my eyes begin to tear causing him to pull me into a hug. "I'm sorry Katniss, I'm so sorry," he whispered repeatedly as he allowed me to cry into his shirt.

I wanted to tell him he had nothing to be sorry about. He hadn't caused the accident. He hadn't caused my mother to leave. He hadn't insured I was to be sent away. Yet I couldn't. I couldn't find the voice in me to tell him so. It felt nice to have someone apologize yet it also felt god-awful. I hadn't spoken more than one word to him since the accident. _Prim_. It was the only thing I had said to him. I had said it to him the moment I woken after my throat had fully recovered from the breathing tube and he had given me that look. It was the same look he gave me when I had told him my father had passed. It was that look that I knew only meant one thing, Prim was gone. Since then months had past and I hadn't said a word to him.

However now as I pulled away from his embrace I gave him the best smile I could find inside me and he gave me his. "I'll come visit," he said and I just nodded knowing I had to go. Then when there was nothing left to say I quickly turned, making my way onto the train. I felt the door shut behind me as one of the assistants took my ticket. I knew Cecelia and Gale stood outside on the platform watching yet I did my best to avoid their eyes as I made my way to an empty seat in one of the carts before getting myself settled. I looked to the clock which hung over the cart door. I had six hours, six hours till I reached Naval Cove. And knowing I couldn't, no wouldn't sleep I asked for a cup of tea.

…

As the train jerked to a stop I found myself getting to my feet, swinging my duffle bag over my shoulder my bones shook under the bags weight. My body then went into autopilot. I had been doing this for the past weeks now, just zoning out yet continuing to go on. I walked down to the isle toward the door making sure not to make any eye contact with any of the passengers. One of the transit assistants opened the door me, "Have a good day miss." I nodded and stepped out onto the platform.

The platform was crowded as people departed and loaded onto the train. Yet finding myself fighting the crowd I sat down on a disserted park bench and waited. My body ached and groaned as I knew I was weak but hadn't realized how much damage had been done. Within minutes the train had left and I was one of few that were left on the platform. Within an hour I was left alone. Growing tired I began to tun my fingertips along the black denim of my jeans I couldn't help but think I knew this was going to happen.

I knew Haymitch wasn't going to show up. He was probably drunk, no, he was drunk. He was always drunk. Looking down at my fingertips I couldn't help but notice that they had been chewed done to the nub. I shook my head as I got off the park bench and slung my duffle bag over my shoulder. It landed awkwardly on my shoulder, its weigh causing me to stumble yet quickly I fixed the strap allowing me to stand up right. Then as I began to walk toward the end of the platform which lead to the rode a guy ran past me before stopping to take a few steps back to stand in front of me.

He was tall with a broad shoulders and a well-built frame. He had short blond hair that seemed to curl at the tips with eyes that were a crystal blue. His smile was soft and bright. Flatting his faded jeans with his hands he looked to me. "Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?" realizing I did not the boy I took a step back away from the guy. Who was he? How did he know me? Seeing my reaction he said, "Oh sorry, right you don't know me. I'm Peeta Mellark. Haymitch sent me to pick you up." I looked at him up and down he reached into his back pocket from which he pulled out his wallet and next his driver license which he handed over to me. Looking from the plastic card to him and back he didn't look like a bad guy or anything, he was an organ donor. I laughed to myself internal, he couldn't be worse than Haymitch I thought.

I handed him his driver license back before taking a step toward him. He gave me a soft smile, "Do you want me to take your bag?" I shook my head and he nodded, "Okay. Well you want to get going?" I nodded my head again before following him off the platform. In silence we made our way off the platform through the parking lot and across the street where Peeta opened the passenger door of a rusted orange pickup truck.

…

Haymitch's house was about a forty-five minute drive from the train station. It was hidden away in the dunes of the coastal beach of Naval Cove. It was a small, old white villa with faded red roof. As Peeta set the pickup into park I continued to stare at the house as he walked around the the passenger side of the car to open the door for me. I had been here before, I thought but then the moment the passenger door had fully open my body again went into autopilot. I stepped out of the car shutting the door behind me. Then shifting my duffle bag over my shoulder I follow Peeta across the sandy ground and into the house.

I knew Peeta had been talking but I hadn't fully realized what he was saying till the overwhelming smell of alcohol which filled the house snapped me out of my haze. "And this is the living room which is connect to the kitchen-" He stopped which caused me to turn to look at him. He looked at me questionably. Yet realizing I had had picked up the smell of alcohol in the air which had been sadly attempt to be hidden my an air fresher he gave me a crooked smile, "Haymitch broke _a_ bottle of white liquor the other day." I nodded though knowing it was more than just _a_ bottle of white liquor.

And just as I was wondering Haymitch was, there he was. He, Haymitch Abernathy, came striding into the kitchen glass in hand. He wore ruffled trousers and half button green collared shirt that wasn't quit buttoned. His hair dirty blond had grown since those years ago since I had last seen him. He had a five o'clock shadow would soon become a full grown beard if he didn't shave soon. His gray eyes fell on me for a second before darting back to the kitchen as he grumbled something under his breath which I didn't catch.

Then as he reached for one of the cabinet doors could hear Peeta groan beside me, "Haymitch, please, it's too early for that." Haymitch grumbled something again which I didn't catch as he poured the white liquid from the bottle which he had taken from the cabinet into his glass. He needed it, I thought as I watched him swoosh the liquor around in his glass. He had needed it for the last six years; he needed it for the same reason he couldn't look to me, I looked too much like _him, my father. _Sensing Peeta shaking his head beside me I heard him say, "Would you at least say hello?"

Taking a swing from his glass it seemed to make it more bearable for him to look at me. His gray eyes bore into mine as he gave me a crooked smile, "It's good to see you, sweetheart." I felt myself wince at the nickname. He used to call Prim and I sweetheart when he came to visit us. He and Prim got along so well. He drank less when he was around her. She made up for our father's death in a way. She made him happy. Quickly looking away I could hear Haymitch grunt before shuffling out of the kitchen, bottle in hand. Hearing a sigh, I turn to see Peeta still standing beside me. Shaking his head he gave me a smile, "Do you want to see the rest of the house?" I nodded allowing Peeta to guide me through the house.

…

Every wall was painted white and all the floors were wooden. There was little furniture as possible and every inch of the house seemed to reek of alcohol. There was the master bedroom which belonged to Haymitch and another bedroom which he had turned into an office. Peeta had motioned he was still writing, attempting to finish at least one more book. There was bathroom done the hall from Haymitch's room and dining room on the porch that was linked to the house through the kitchen-and-living-room.

I was about to ask Peeta where I was to stay till he lead me about the backdoor in the kitchen to what looked to be a garage but inside had been transformed into a small loft. The ground was concrete and the walls were brick covered in cracked white paint. In the back of the room was a swirl stairwell that lead to a platform no more than eight feet off the ground. On the platform rest a bed, a lamp, and a clothing rack to which I could hang my clothes. Off the platform hung small twinkly lights and below on the ground sat scarlet red couch that sat across from an old television which sat on a book shelf. Not too far from the book shelf sat a mini-refrigerator alongside a sink and couple cabinets.

"Yeah," I heard Peeta mumble, "It's not much but Haymitch didn't us much time to put the place together." It was too much, I thought, it was more than I ever need. I couldn't help but think of how much larger it was in size than our house back at home. Yet I gave him a small smile as I didn't know what to say nor could find the voice to say anything. Standing there for a few moments in awkward silence I heard Peeta cough as he shuffled towards the door. "I'll let you get settled." "Thanks," I mumbled knowing he didn't hear me as I heard the door click shut behind him.

…

Jolting upward I could hear the waves crashing along the not so distant beach. My heart pounding faster than a hummingbird's, my lungs heaving to be freed from their airless prison, my hair plastered to the back of my neck, a thin layer of sweat slipping down across my forehead, and a soreness that ran dry in my throat. Nightmares. They came every time I shut my eyes. They were the reason I had needed to drink teas and coffees, to stay awake. That was why during the train to Naval Cove I had order about three teas. I needed to stay awake because the moment I fell into the darkness I saw Prim and my father and everything that haunted me.

Quickly shaking the images and thoughts out of my mind I quickly stumbled out of the bed. My body went into autopilot once more, wrapping myself in a sheet I made my way down the stairs and out the door. The air was chilly and there was a soft breeze whisking through the night. The sand squished between my toes and the crashing of waves became louder. Before I knew it I found myself seated in the sand, my knees drawn to my chest. I didn't know why I had come out here, but as I stared out into the dark abyss of the sea I sat quietly engulfing myself in my surroundings. I listened to the waves crash and the sun peek over the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Morning

…

As the sun rose higher into the sky the morning runners began to slowly make their way off the beach being replaced by the town shoobies. As more and more people took their place along the sandy beach I felt myself realize that I was actually sitting among them. I was wrapped in a sheet wearing no more than one of Gale's old oversized football t-shirts underneath. This realization caused me see that all eyes were on me. I was the center of attention. And as I felt like more people begin to surround me along the coastal beach along with the fact that all eyes were on me and hush whispers were soon to be spread around town about the half-dressed-girl, I lifted myself off the sandy ground and began walking away.

Through the sand and up through the dunes far away from the stares and soft whispers that the beachgoers had directed toward me I found the pathway that took me right to the kitchen door of Haymitch's home. Pulling the back door open and then shutting it behind me as silently as possible I turned to see the blonde haired boy from the day before, Peeta I think his name was, pouring a cup of coffee in front of Haymitch who was half drunkenly shuffling the eggs around his plate with a fork.

Silently turning the door knob of the back door in hopes to escape before I my presence was recognized, I was nearly out the door when I heard, "Sweetheart." I looked out to the garage then down at my feet before letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding before stepping back into the kitchen, shutting the door behind me. I looked to Haymitch. He raised one of his eyebrows at me as he took a sip of the coffee Peeta had just poured him. Setting down his cup of coffee, he patted the bar stool beside him. I looked down at my feet once again before I shuffled over to the bar stool, taking my place.

…

I could feel it; the day was coming to an end. The second hand on the grandfather kept a steady pass yet hours and minutes had passed and from what I could see, it would only be a few hours before the sun vanished over the horizon, day would become night. Haymitch had left my side with a bottle of liquor nearly six hours ago mumbling something get "that damn book finished." Peeta had left even before then. However I continued to sit at the counter blankly staring at the plate of eggs and bacon that Peeta had sat in front of me moments after I had taken my seat beside Haymitch.

I continued to stare at my platter even now. Knowing it was room temperature and something that the trashcan beside the counter can and would proudly claim its own, I shifted off the bar stool and onto the tile floor. The moment my toes hit the cold tile it felt as if a small shock ran through my body breaking the stiffness it had become so use to over the past several hours. Yet once standing confidently as possible, I carried the platter over to the trash can where I disposed of its food before carrying it over to the sink where I placed it. Then I turned to the back door were I made my way back to the garage only to fall fast asleep the moment I settled into the bed.

…

This process soon turned into a routine. Waking in the middle of the night from my own blood curdling screams, I would get out of bed and wander onto the beach where I would sit in complete silence, listening and watching till the sun had risen and the towns' people had taken over the beach. From there I went to the kitchen where Haymitch sat grunting as he fought to keep his breakfast down while Peeta cleaned the kitchen yet from the corner of my eye I could always see him stealing glances at me every now and then. Once the kitchen was clean and breakfast had been served Peeta would dismiss himself and Haymitch would soon follow Peeta's lead as he would grunt at me not to bother him in his office, always taking a bottle of liquor with him. And I, I sat there till I came to some realization that I should go to sleep.

…

It was only one morning that was I sat beside Haymitch I saw Peeta flip the calendar that hung on the refrigerator, changing the month from May to June. That's when I realized, I had been living in Naval Cove for a little less than two weeks now. What had my life come to? Had the past two weeks of my life been what I consider living? What had my life consisted of, I thought. Nothing, less than nothing. I hadn't improved from my original state if not I had gotten worse. Letting out a sigh I couldn't help but pity myself. I was becoming a lost cause or had passed that exit a few miles back and was becoming else.

I'm not sure how long it was till Haymitch had finished his platter before dismissing himself along with the usual bottle of liquor from the kitchen. Now it was just Peeta and I. Turning my glaze from my bowl of oatmeal that sat in front of me to Peeta who stood across from me at the sink washing the dishes and cleaning whatever messes Haymitch had made that I couldn't help but wonder why he was here. "I work for Haymitch," he said as he turned from the sink to face me. Crap, I thought, I said that out loud. "My dad convinced him to hire me a few years ago after he started drinking-" After father died I wanted to say, but I couldn't and Peeta didn't need to be corrected; Haymitch drank, Peeta didn't need to know why.

"So for the past few years I have come around each morning to clean up a bit around the house, make sure the bills are taken care of, and to make sure he gets some decent food inside of him. Basically all I do is making sure he's not dead." I cringe at the last word, dead. Peeta must have caught my reaction to what he had said and fell silent. Great, I thought as I could feel Peeta staring at me not knowing what to do, he was never going to the usual Peeta around me now. Looking to him, I could see the worried look in his eyes; and now he wasn't going to leave neither in fear of that I might do something to myself, I thought. Picking up my spoon, I twirled it above the bowl of oatmeal in front of me before dipping it in and quickly pulling out a spoonful of the lumpy gray substance.

I let out a breath before willing placing the spoonful into my mouth and swallowing. "How did it taste?" I looked to Peeta giving him a crooked smile telling him is wasn't too hot or too cold, it wasn't too lumpy or too mushy, nor was it too blain or to sweet but just perfect. He gave me his own smile, a happy one back, "I'm glad you liked it." I ate two more spoonfuls before feeling my stomach curl and twist and rumble in disapproval. I set down my spoon and hugged my stomach. The lack of eating had caused my stomach to see food as a foreign object, I thought as my stomach rumbled angrily in protest.

Once the counter had been cleared and dishes had been put away, Peeta turned to me. Opening his open he quickly closed it. What was he going to say? Then running his hand along the back of his neck, ruffling his hair he looked to the floor. I couldn't help but think he was nervous about something, but what? "There's going to be a party on the beach tonight. Um… do you… would you like to come?" Me... Peeta… other people… night… beach… party… me? Not knowing what to say I looked around the room as if I would find the answer I was looking for. And then as I turned back to Peeta it was as if I found my answer, hearing Haymitch's groggy voice. "Yes," he said to Peeta before turning to me, "It'll be good for you sweetheart."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Party

…

The sun has disappeared some time ago and I was somewhere between beer number four and beer number seven. I had made my way from the crowd of teenagers that had gather near the water's edge screaming as they splashed the salted ocean water on each other. I plopped myself down into the sand only a few feet from the bonfire. Making myself comfortable, I pulled my knees to my chest. Watching sparks fly from the bonfire and up into the air like fireflies I felt a large figure sit down beside. Expecting it to be Peeta, I turned to see a tall tan, lean built guy with bronze hair and sea green eyes. He wore a pair of light blue swim trunks and a white t-neck. Looking down at me he gave me a cocky smile, "Finnick, Finnick Odair."

I nodded my head taking a swing of the bitter liquor form the red plastic cup that I had clenched in my hand. Swallowing the alcohol it turned my throat leaving an odd numbness in its place. I turned my gaze from Finnick and back to the bonfire. Yet feeling his eyes scanning over me I heard him laugh causing me to turn my attention back to him. "Aren't you just the flirt Miss Everdeen." Shocked, I couldn't help but wonder how he knew my name. Did I meet him before? And I wasn't a flirt, I hadn't said a word. How was I a flirt? Laughing at my reaction, he nudged me with his elbow. "Don't worry I'm not a stalker. Pete told me all about you." Pete, I thought, who was Pete? And then it hit me Pete was Peeta, but why was Peeta talking about me.

"Peeta," I asked him questionably. He nodded. "Yeah. He just showed up at the house a week or so back and started telling us all about you, Haymitch's niece or something." Finnick looked to me for conformation on the information he been told. I shrugged my shoulders; I suppose I was Haymitch's niece or something. I mean he was my legal guardian at the moment and he had always been a close family friends so I suppose I was somewhere along the lines of being his niece. Taking my response as a yes, he continued to talk. "We all thought he had gone crazy, got a little too much sun or something. For all we've ever know Haymitch was just a crazy old drunk." He looked at me, "No offense." I shrugged my shoulder. None taken, I thought.

"Yet then today he came into the house going on about how he asked you to bonfire tonight. And to tell you the truth none of us believed him. Hey the poor guy was afraid of getting rejected by Delly when he asked her to homecoming. Delly, the girl who wouldn't even say no to a drug lord. I mean-" And that's when he stopped talking, realizing the confused look I'm sure my face displayed as I had no idea who this Delly girl was. Then he nodded to himself and began to talk again. "Right you don't know Delly. But hey, look," he said gesturing to me, "We all know what the big fuse was over, now."

Talking about me? Me? Peeta? Big fuse? Me? What was he talking about? Snapping back to reality, I turned my attention back to Finnick who was still talking. He was going on about swimming or surfing or something. Looking from the crowd of teenagers that were now near waist deep in the water Finnick's eyes fell on me. "Do you swim?" Yes, I thought, I use to swim with my father at the lake back home. But looking at myself in the moment I wore a faded band tee that reached just above my bellybutton along with my skinny jeans and combat boots. I shook my head no. I didn't swim any more, not since my father had passed. Yet as my mind wander back to the days when my father taught me to swim and I then taught Prim to swim a soft however loud pitched voice broke my train of thought.

"Finnick," the voice called out through the darkness, "Finnick, we gotta go! I can't be late again! If I break curfew again mother sore she would ground me for a week!" Smiling, Finnick lifted himself off the ground, brushing sand off of his swim trunks. Then looking down at me, he flashed me a smile, "I hope I see you around sometime soon Katniss." Giving me a quick wink, he turned, running toward the dunes where a girl stood. She looked to be an inch or two shorter than me with flowing bronze hair and tan skin from the result of lying hours out in the summer sun. Once he reached her side he took her hand in his and they ran along the path that led to the street.

…

Sometime had passed before I had realized that Finnick had actually left my company and I hadn't just zoned out him that I turned my attention to the fire that flickered before my eyes. I watched the bonfire began to lowly die down as its radiant red and yellow flames began to shrink in size and embers darken. As I watched I finished the remained of my drink. Then sitting there, letting the alcohol find its way into my blood stream I felt a sort of numbness take over my body. It left me in a haze that seemed to feel me with a sort of happiness, joy. My mind was clouded and my body seemed to disconnect from what was going on around me. It was as if my body was buzzing; I felt happy and warm and just… wonderful.

Unable to help myself, I couldn't help but smile. What was going on? Why was I so happy? What was that warm feeling that filled me? Letting out a silent laugh I felt myself hiccup. Then taking in a breath I smelt the bitter sweet taste of the alcohol that lurked in my breathe. The aroma caused my stomach to tighten and curl and then I felt it. That sickening sense of upchuck, bile. Unable to withhold it, I felt it travel up my throat. I held my stomach as I threw up was food contents had remained from breakfast. It only lasted a minute but I felt myself continue to dry heave, wishing something would come up. And once all liquor and food alcohol had been expelled I felt myself clutch my stomach as a thin lair of sweat collected on my forehead and a shiver ran through my spine.

Wishing I hadn't drank or had gone to the damn party or had even eaten breakfast I felt my body curl into a ball. It was as if my brain first thought was to go into the fetal position. I wasn't quite sure my body did of such a thing, but I was glad it did. I wasn't sure how long it had been, maybe it was just a few minutes or maybe it was over the period of an hour, but soon enough the ache in my stomach began to fade away along with the bitter taste of alcohol and vomit which remained in my mouth. Yet as I continued to clutch my stomach as I laid on the ground, I sensed a dark figure kneel beside me.

"Katniss?" Looking up I came face to face with a pair of soft, blue eyes. Prim, I thought. But quickly realizing that that was impossible I shook the thought from my head. And then I thought, who did I know possess such blue eyes? Haymitch? No, his eyes were a silvery gray like mine. The name began with a P. Dammit, I thought, dam alcohol clouded my mind. Not Prim. Patch? Parker? Pepper? Pete? No. Peeta. Yes, I thought, it was Peeta kneeling beside me.

"Are you okay," I heard him ask in a soft tone that caused my head to tighten and pound in pain. I gave him a weak shake of the head telling him no. He frowned, running his hand thorough his hair. He let his hand run down to the back of his neck where he scratched the revealed skin between his shirt collar and the bottom of his hair line. I suspected he was thinking of what to do with me. I must have looked a mess, no let me correct myself, I knew I was a mess. Letting out a soft breath of air, Peeta gave me a hopeful smile, "I'm going to take you back Haymitch's. Alright?" I looked him in the eyes, those blue eyes, telling him okay as I felt too sick to be able to whisper him a yes or even given him a nod yes.

Feeling him position himself beside me, he scooped me out of the sand. I felt him tuck one of his arms under my knees and the over around my back allowing my head to rest on his shoulder. As he walked, he hummed a familiar tune that I couldn't quote name. And as he walked I felt the alcoholic haze take over my body. My eyes willingly began to shut and my breathes became slow and even. It was only a matter of minutes or even less before my body began to fall in and out of conscience before the darkness took me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The Friend

…

Feeling my head roll to the side, my cheek came in contact with the cold porcelain frame of the bathtub. The cool touch caused my body to stiffen and my stomach to curl. God I felt sick. An awful stench had taken over my breath and my head was pounding. The palms of my hands felt clammy and my eye lids felt heavy. And just by shifting my body a hair had caused every cell in my body ached in protest. Shit, I thought, what the hell had happened to me? Then hearing the shower curtain being quickly drawn open I let out a soft moan in protest as the clacking and clanging of the curtain rings aggravated my now even worse heavy pounding head. Feeling the sun on my back and hearing a familiar snicker, I rolled my head in the opposite direction.

As the sunlight obscured my vision I could barely make out the dark mass that sat in front of me. It was a person, I thought. What else would it be, my brain retorted, Yeti? Letting out another moan, my vision began to clear and as I squinted my eyes I was able to make out the mass. It was Haymitch, a clean shaven, no so drunk looking Haymitch. He sat on the toilet looking down at me. He wore a dark pair of dress pants along with a dark blue button up shirt whose sleeves he had rolled up to his elbows. Why wasn't he drunk? Why was he clean? Why was he so dressed up? Why was he looking at me? My mind couldn't help but question what stood in front of me.

"Haymitch," I asked in a horsed voice. "Good to see you too, sweetheart," he said in quite a loud tone causing my head to pound even harder. I let out another moan as I had involuntarily brought my hands to my head as if I was holding it from exploding. God, I thought, why did it hurt so much? Hearing Haymitch snicker at my pain once again, I watched as he leaned over toward the counter picking up a glass of water and to blue pills. "Here," he said dropping the two blue pills in the palm of my hand. I stared at the pills as if they were some sort of foreign object. "Swallow them," he directed me. So sitting up, I quickly popped the pills into my mouth, swallowing them. He then handed me the glass of water which I took a few sips of before setting it on the tile floor and reclining back into the tub.

After the a few minutes the pounding in my head seemed to nearly fade away and the ache which had once spread through my body had now disappeared. Letting out a sigh of relief I heard Haymitch cough. Thus catching my attention I turned to face Haymitch. "You should go see that boy, sweetheart." What boy, I thought, and why should I see him. "He looked quite worried about you last night when he brought you in." This boy I was to see had brought me home last night. Letting my mind wander I did my best to concentrate. And then like it all came back like an avalanche.

The bonfire on the beach… Finnick… the cup of liquor I kept drinking from… vomiting… Peeta rubbing circles along my back as he carried me home. Peeta. Peeta was the boy I was to see, he brought me home, he was worried? I looked to Haymitch. He stood up off the toilet and walked to door. Stopping at the doorframe he said, "The boy should be at Mellark Bakery on Main Street." And with that said he walked out of the bathroom leaving on my own. Running my hands through my hair I couldn't help but think of how I screwed up. Shit.

…

Mellark Bakery sat along the corner of Twelfth and Main Street. It was a two story building that was a light shade of gray. The bakery sat beside a small boutique whose name I couldn't pronounce and didn't bother to pronounce as I turned my attention back to the bakery. I had to do this. A sign that read _Mellark Bakery_ hung over the door of the bakery and in the windows beautiful cakes were displayed. Stepping in front of the store's door I came to a halt. Standing up straight I took in a deep breath. You can do this Katniss, I thought. Then releasing my breath I placed my hand on the doorknob. Turning the knob I took a step forward.

As the door shut behind me a bell rang through the store allowing the employees know they had a customer. It was a moment later that a tall, stock guy with blond ruffled hair and soft blue eyes similar yet so different from Peeta's appeared from behind the counter. "Hi," he said, "How can I help you?" shuffling my feet and fiddling with my fingers I made out, "Um… can I… is Peeta here?" Seeing the guy look me up and down the side of his mouth jerked up into a smile. "Oh," he said with a laugh, "You must be Katniss." Did Peeta tell this guy about me too, I thought as I gave him the slight nod of my head. The guy then smiled at me before walking into the back room of the bakery.

I could hear the second on the clocking ticking by. And with each tick my body seemed to become more and more uncomfortable. I should just go home, I thought, it was stupid for me to come. And then as I stood tall on the balls of my feet ready to walk out, Peeta appeared. He wore what looked to be an old scarlet t-shirt under a gray apron. There was flour on his hands up scattered across his forearm and across his apron. His hair shot out in different directions and his eyes were warm. "Hey," he said as the corners of his mouth turned up into a heartfelt smile, "How are you?" "Better…" I said trailing off before saying, "Sorry."

Quietly standing there for a moment he looked to me and nodded. "It's okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." I wasn't sure if it really was okay though, but nodded my head in response anyway. And then as an awkward silence takes over the bakery and I couldn't help but think if he knew exactly why I was sorry. I was sorry… for not being social or normal… for going to that stupid party… for not being a nice to Peeta… for getting drunk… for him having to care for Haymitch and I… for causing him to worry… for everything. I didn't know if he knew that was why I was sorry and yet even if he did how could it be okay with it. Looking to him he was scratching the back of his neck. Why was he always doing that? Was I bothering him? Did he have an itch or something?

Looking over him the flour that was plastered to his apron and powdered along his arms caused me to realize he had been working until I showed up. He was baking. Shuffling my feet I tried to smile but knew my face displayed a blank expression. "I should… I better… I don't want to bother you." He laughed, "You think your bothering me?" I nodded. "You're doing the farthest thing from bothering me." Is that a good thing or bad thing, I thought. Thinking about asking him what he meant by that I shut my mouth knowing it would be rude for me to ask and then again I opened my mouth. "Well I shouldn't keep you," I said as I took a step back. "Oh. Well I-" he trailed off. And then one step, two step, and just as I was about to take my third step and be out the door I heard Peeta speak up as he regained his focus. "Do you want to help me with the next batch of cheese buns?"

…

By the time we reached the house the air had become chillier as the day grew closer to an end. We didn't bother to enter the house as we both knew Haymitch was probably passed out drunk on the couch and wasn't someone you accidently wanted to wake up. Therefore as I stood frozen at the path which led to the front door, Peeta placed his hand on my shoulder leading me around the house to back deck. Taking a seat on the edge of the worn wooden deck, I pulled my legs to my chest so my chin could rest on my knees. Peeta sat beside me leaning back on his elbows with his feet in the sand. I could feel his eyes on me as I stared at the horizon. Then without warning I felt his hand touch my hair causing me to shriek away. Images from the night of the accident flashed through my mind causing me to dig my finger nails into the palms of my hand. No, don't do this Katniss.

"Sorry," I heard him mumble in an apologetic tone as he quickly pulled away, "There was flour in your hair." The silence fell again. Why did I act this way? Why couldn't I be normal? I had spent the whole day with Peeta in the back room of the bakery where he used me about to make raisin bread, short bread cookies, and cheese buns while I made a mess of things; and now he goes to take a clump of flour out of my hair and I freak out. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and mumbled a short, quick sorry. We sat like this for a while it wasn't till I opened my eyes to see Peeta seated with his elbows on his knees and he eyes fixed on the horizon. I turned to what had captivated his attention. The sun set. His eyes were fixated on the sun set which caused a soft yet bright shade of orange to overtake the sky. It was pretty, beautiful. Feeling myself smile I heard Peeta speak up. "Orange. A sun set orange," he said with a smile, "That's my favorite color." And then unexpectedly I heard myself speak up. "Green like the color of nature."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The Pier

…

We're friends now, Peeta and I. Over the past few days we have gotten to know each other pretty well. Peeta, well he's Peeta. There's so little and so much to say about him. He's a pretty great guy for starters. He grew up in Naval Cove with his older twin brothers, Marcus and Rye, and his parents. He was on his school's varsity football and wrestling team. He worked at his family bakery since he could walk. He told me his favorite part about working at the bakery was decorating the cakes and other pastries. It may seem girly, but seeing his work I'd have to say they were beautiful, the decorative cakes and cookies were nothing less than gorgeous. And when he wasn't baking or with his family or playing sport he spent his free time hanging out with his friends or painting. And then there were the little things I had learned like how he only drank his tea with two sugars or how he loved to go fishing with his dad even though he couldn't swim.

Peeta was different. I think that's why I got along with him, that's why our friendship works out. He was different then everybody else. He didn't stare or whisper or give me pity looks. He treated me I was like anyone else. He was different. He didn't ask questions or pressure me. He just went along with life and didn't look back. In addition he was nice (well I considered Haymitch as nice in his own little way of sarcastic remark and whatnot, but Peeta was genuinely nice.) And it wasn't till I met Peeta Mellark that I found that a person's niceness could be annoying. It was as if he was too nice. It made me feel bad that I could tell you a thousand different things about him and what could he tell you about me; maybe he could tell you that I like my tea plan, but that would probably be everything Peeta knew about me.

And that's how I found myself in these predicaments. Peeta would ask me to do something or to go somewhere that I wouldn't want to do or go to. But when I looked at him I could tell he knew I didn't want to go and that's what first got me; if he knew I didn't want to do such-and-such with him why would he ask. Gale always said I was an open book, that you could know everything about me by should looking in my eyes and that's how I suppose Peeta saw it, knew it. He could see it in my eyes and yet he would still ask. He would look down at his shoes all upset as he would scratch the back of his neck and mumble something how it would be okay if I didn't want to. He was always being the bigger person, he was being nice. And every time it would get me. I wanted to say no, but I couldn't. I'd cave unwilling telling him I could as if I ever told him no I would feel like a horrible human being. And that's why now I'm sure as I found myself climbing into the passenger side of Peeta's truck was the reason why I had gotten myself caught in these situations.

...

Hours later I was still here, with Peeta walking up and down the Fourth Street Pier. The sun was high in the sky and a soft ocean breeze blew along the pier. There were seagulls scavenging for food and families camped out on the beach. The pier was crowded with people. Children drug their parents by hand along to the boards toward the amusement rides as teenager hung out in front of some of the gaming stands and arcades talking with friends and seeing who could win the big panda while old couples sat on the park benches outside the food court facing out toward the beaches and ate caramel popcorn. Peeta and I were walking down the middle of the pier away from the amusement rides and by the arcade. He had begged me the day before to come with him to the pier. He said we were meeting up with Finnick and his girlfriend, Annie. And of course they were late. Peeta mumbled apologizes saying he should have known this would happen, saying how Finnick never followed through with their plans. And I silently nodding assuring him this wasn't his fault.

Now as we made our way toward the food court I heard someone calling out for us. "Peeta! Katniss! Hey! Guys! Over here!" Turning our heads toward where the voice was coming from I saw Finnick hand in hand with the girl from the party a few nights back. As they made their way towards us I assumed that this was Annie, the tan skin, bronze haired girl was Finnick's girlfriend. "Hey," Finnick said happily as he and the girl, Annie, reached us, "What's up?" Peeta rolled his eyes annoyed, "We've been waiting for you two for over an hour. At least you could have texted and let me know you were going to be late." Finnick put up his hand in surrender, "You can't rush beauty, Bread Boy." The girl next to him snorted. "Sorry Peeta I'll let you next time when Fin's having hair issues." "It wasn't an issue," Finnick said in protest, "It was a world crisis-" The girl cut him off turning her attention to me "Annie." "Katniss."

…

One pizza pie later and we were standing in line for some ride called the Slingshot. Stepping forward I watched as the next pair of people were strapped into the ball cage. Then watching as the machine operator walk over to the operating both he pressed a few buttons causing the ball cage to shoot up into the air and then back down and up again. The people inside the caged screamed with excitement until a minute or so later the cage came to a stop. The machine operator then gradually lowered the cage down to the machine platform. From there the cage was opened and passengers were let out. And then it was our turn. The gate to the platform was opened and Peeta put his hand on the small of my back leading toward the ball.

Buckling the chest strap and the machine operator closed the cage. As he walked away I sucked in a deep breath and let it out. You can do this Katniss, I thought, it didn't look so bad, it looked kind of fun. I heard a chuckle causing me to turn to face Peeta. He gave me a smile, "It's going to be fine." He paused. "The worse you could do is throw up on my shoes." I looked down at his shoes that were black tennis shoes which seemed reasonably new and then back to his face. "They're not that nice." He clutched his hands over his heart in a dramatic way. "I'm hurt, Katniss. I paid good money for these shoes." I smiled.

Then I felt something shift and then we were shooting up into the air. The force of gravity pushed me against the seat as the cage swirled and we plummeted back down. And that's when it happened. The clips of the accident flashed through my mind. _The rain was pounding down on the windshield as Gale's wagon lurched into the intersection just after the light turned green. Prim was messing with the radio stations when we heard the screeching of tires. _The cage spun again spending us back into the sky_. The wagon flipped to the side causing me to clutch Prim's waist tighter. We weren't buckled in; it was less than a mile ride home, we saw no reason to buckle ourselves into the seat. _I felt my chest tighten as we plummeted back down toward the pier. I tried to breath but I felt caught. I gasped for air. _The car windows shattered on impact and the side of the car had indented into the passenger seat crushing Prim and I. We were trapped. _

The cage began to be lowered as I gasped more eagerly for air. Why couldn't I breathe? Where had the air gone? _The rain was coming through the broken window. Prim was uncontrollably shivering causing me to pull her closer to my chest I could feel her heart begin to slow. No, I thought, she can't._ The cage door opened and I felt someone unclick my chest strap. "Katniss," some called, "Katniss!" I looked for where the voice was coming from, but I couldn't find it as my vision was blurred from the tears that had flooded my eyes. _It seemed like hours before I heard the sirens. I had lost feeling in the lower half of my body a while ago, Gale was unconscious but still breathing, and Prim, Prim was barely alive, her heart was giving out and it was only a matter of a time before it gave. Prim hugged be tight, "It's going to be okay Katniss." I heard mumbled voices before I felt a light flash over be before I felt my eyes close before I became conscious._

"Katniss," the voice called, "Katniss, it's me, Peeta. Look at me Katniss." Rolling my head, it felt heavy and the bright sun hurt my eyes. Peeta? Where is Peeta? What's going on? What happened? Feeling my head wobble from one side to the other I felt a hand clamp on the back of my neck steading me. And that's when I saw Peeta. He was crouched down on the balls of his feet in from of me. His face looked strict in the moment but his eyes were filled with sadness and worry. What happened? I looked around to see I was sitting on a park bench besides the pier railing, far from the Slingshot. How did I get over here? Finnick and Annie stood behind Peeta both displaying worried looks as bystanders pointed and whispered. An EMT was knelt down beside Peeta taking my pulse. My head was spinning. What had happened?

Looking to Peeta for answers he looked at me with concern. "You're okay Katniss. You had a panic attack." And then the memories came falling back… the cage… the oncoming car… the pressure of gravity… hugging Prim tight… the lack of air… her heart giving out... I felt tears begin to stream down my cheeks and my breath caught causing me to hiccup. Peeta's crystal blue eyes bore into my grey ones and I broke. It was as if I could no longer keep myself together. Lurching toward him, he caught me in a hug as I buried my head in the nook between his shoulder and his neck. "The accident," I hiccupped, "Gale, the wagon, Prim… the rain and the oncoming car." I sucked in a deep breath as the next words poured out of me, "She's dead, Prim's dead."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The Words

…

Everything has changed. The gossip over town had become rapid. The eyes of those I passed always seemed to follow. Haymitch has gotten sober enough so he can keep an eye on me, but continues for keep himself in a semi-drunken faze. Peeta does his best to act the same, but I can see him in the corner of my eye tip-toeing around, watching my reactions. Annie looked as if she is going to cry every time she sees me. I frightened her so badly that day that I've began to worry about her. Finnick seemed the same, he was still his usually cocky self, but he was more protective around me, he watched what he says and what others did. In addition to all that, Cecelia had even called twice in the last week to talk to me. She hadn't brought up the panic attack, but I can hear the strain in her voice when she talks letting me know she wants to bring up the subject then again knows better not to.

The only people that hadn't changed seem to be Marcus and Rye. They are the only people whom I seemed to be able to keep my sanity around. They don't watch my every move. They don't constantly ask me if I'm okay. They don't watch their tongues around me. They act like themselves, their perverted immature selves. But it's nice; they don't remind me of my flaws and misfortunes. They may not realize what they are doing for me, but I appreciate them for what they are doing. In fact I found myself escaping to them; I spend most of my time with them. Like now as I sat on one of the counters in the back of the bakery watching Marcus make sugar cookies.

As I reached forward toward the bowl of cookie dough I was able to snatch a tennis ball sized portion of the sugary, sweet dough before Marcus could smack away my hand. Hearing him let out a chuckle I didn't even bother to look up. This was how we were. I focused on my hands which laid in my lap, shaping the cookie dough into odd shapes and forms. A few minutes must have gone by before I heard Marcus let out a breath. Looking up from my lap I saw five sheets of cookies placed out beside me. He must have prepared, made, and shaped five dozen cookies in less than five minutes time. I couldn't help but think of how much time it had taken him to have been able to make five dozen cookies when he first started working at the bakery.

Looking up from the cookies my eyes fell on him. He was leaning against one of the wired racks which held flour, sugar and other baking supplies. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had an unreadable expression painted across his lips. Something was up. His head was shaking but not much more than a hair and he was looking at me. Something was up. "You can't hide out here forever, you know." I looked to him confused. Hide out here? The bakery? Wait he knew I was hiding? Did he know what I was hiding from? How did he know I was hiding? Was I thinking about the same thing he talking about? What? Sensing my confusion he continued. "You can't hide out from everyone, Katniss. I mean I remember when I basically destroyed the left half of my body." What did he mean? "I took a really bad fall on off my skateboard. I had a broken my arm, a few cracked ribs, and had to get knee surgery. It was hell and everyone looked and whispered and tip-toed around."

He paused taking a deep breath, trying to find what words he wanted to say next. "Ah, shit," he said running his hand through his hair like Peeta did when he was trying to make a point, "I'm trying to be nice, but I doubt this is gonna come out kind. What I'm trying to say is that I know what you're going through. One thing happens and people start treating you differently. But hey, it doesn't last forever. And so you need to get your ass out of here and go live a little. So what if you had a panic attack, you shouldn't give a shit. You should be out there tanning with Annie tanning or surfing with my brother or lowering Fin's self-esteem." I let out a soft laugh causing Marcus to let out a laugh as well. "Ha. You know I'm right even if you won't admit it. And since you know I'm right, you have no other chose than to come out with me tonight. Live a little."

…

"Sorry," he whispered in my ear as the guy called Gloss walked away from us to get another beer. I nodded. Marcus had been apologizing to me all night for allowing Annie to dress me up. I was wearing my combat boots which I had a pair of dark, tattered skinny jeans tucked into them. But that wasn't what he was apologizing about. It was apologizing for the top in which Annie dressed me in. It was a light, netted type of fabric. The shirt carelessly slung over my shoulders and only reached my mid-abdomen. Plus to make it even better the cloth was see-through allowing one to see through the netting as it revealed the black bra I wore underneath. Every guy we had talked to tonight hadn't had the decency to look me in the eyes. Taking a sip of my beer I could barely hear Marcus's phone go off, but he must have as he quickly taking it out of his pocket. He glanced at the screen before taking my hand in his, "Let's go outside."

As I clutched on to Marcus's hand for dear life, we finally pushed through the crowd and out onto the house's back deck. "This way," he nodded guiding me across the deck onto the dock and down to the end of the dock where Peeta stood between Rye and a tall, muscular blonde with a crew-cut. They looked to be arguing. Rye was shouting something as his arms shot this and that way. Peeta stood there blocking Rye from getting too close to the blond haired guy. All the while the blonde haired guy stood there with a smirk on his face. Then something happened. Rye's rant seemed to stop and the blonde hair guy said something. Rye jerked forward as Peeta set his hand on Rye's shoulder holding him back. The blonde said a few more words and then Rye snapped. Anger washed over Rye's face and in one motion his fist connected with Peeta's jaw. Peeta stumbled back, clutching his jaw in his hand. And then with one step too many he went over the edge of the dock.

In that moment of rage time seemed to slow yet as the same time it seemed to moving a million miles an hour. Rye was still fuming stepping closer to the blonde haired guy. Marcus had let go of my hand. I was running with Marcus towards them. Rye threw a punk at the blonde, but the blonde took a side step dodging Rye's fist. Marcus had reached Rye and was holding him back. The blonde had an arrogant smile painted across his lips. Marcus was yelling at me to get Peeta. Peeta, he couldn't swim. I was stripping down to my bra and boy shorts. The blond was still smiling. And then I dove into the water.

The touch of the water was cold. It sent a chill down my spine. Surfacing the water I listened and looked. And then I saw. A little less than ten feet away from me was Peeta fighting to stay above the water. Quickly I swam over. He kicked and splashed trying to stay afloat. Peeta couldn't swim. Thinking fast back to my years of life guard training, I wrapped my arm around his neck. The instance I touched him his body fought me. Taking my arm in his hands we went under. He was stronger than I was. Surfacing I tighten my grip around his throat. I was doing a maneuver I remember Gale teaching me. I cut off at least half of his air flow, but enough air was getting into his lungs, enough that he was alive and conscious. And as a result his body had calmed. Looping my other arm under his left armpit I finally spoke, "It's me, Peeta. Katniss. Stay calm. You're going to be fine. I got you. I'll relieve the pressure on your airways if you promise to stay calm."

Seeing him nod his head I took it as a sign that he was willing to stay calm. So letting off on the pressure I had on his neck I felt his stuck in a deep breath of air. One. Two. Three. I could feel his chest rising and falling under my hand. Treading water I kept my hand against his throat, keeping his pulse. I wanted to make sure he was fine before I moved him. A minute later I couldn't help but smile. He was going to be fine. And seeing the situation under control, I positioned him so he was floating on his back and instructed him to continue to take deep breaths. Then I began to kick. One. Two. Three. I kicked. One. Two. Three. I kicked. In a matter of minutes we had reached the ladder which hung from the right side of the dock. Peeta climbed up and I followed.

Once I was standing on the dock, I felt a chill run down my spine. The atmosphere had become unfriendly. The air had cooled causing the touch of the ocean water that beaded across my skin to send me rigid. It was as I looked down the dock for where I had stripped off my clothes that I saw Marcus. He walked beside me, wrapping a beach towel around my shoulder while handing a bundle of clothe which I assumed were mine to Peeta speaking a few soft words I did not catch. But Peeta nodded in understanding as he placed his hand on the small of my back guiding me toward the house.

Across the deck through the kitchen and up a flight of stairs, Peeta lead me into a bedroom. The walls were green and a dresser stood parallel to the small twin bed. Feeling Peeta take his hand off my back, he set the bundle of clothes he held on the bed before turning to the closet. Rummaging through the raft that hung with cloths and shelf filled with boxes I watched him grab a few items. Shutting the door he turned, handing me a long white thermal. "For you to get changed in," I nodded as he pointed to the pair of jeans and a t-shirt he had sung over his arm, "I'll get changed in the bathroom, meet me at the stairs and I'll take you home." Giving him a nod he gave me a kind smile before stepping out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Quickly slipping on my pants and then the thermal, I laced up my boots and quickly braided my hair. In a matter minutes I stepped out of the bedroom to see Peeta standing at the head of the stairs, wet cloths in hand. Giving me a weak smile, he took Annie's shirt from my hand, "I'll give it to Fin." I nodded and an awkward silence fell. Fiddling with my fingers I heard Peeta let out a huff, "Sorry about all that, Rye and Cato, me falling overboard. I should really learn to swim." Then without thinking I said, "I could teach you." And Peeta smile, he gave me a genially pure heart smile that made my stomach flip, "I'd like that."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The Date

…

It's been close to three hours now and Peeta had gone from gripping onto the side of the dock for dear life to being able to swim free style back and forth across the lagoon without a challenge. It was as if he had been swimming for years. I must say I thought it was going to be harder, but Peeta was determined. When I first met him at eight o'clock this morning on Finnick's dock he swore he would not give up nor leave till he was able to successfully swim on his own. I thought it was a meaningless oath. Yet now I'd have to say otherwise. Peeta being Peeta, the joyfully pleasant baker stuck to his word.

And now as I stood on the edge of the old, faded dock Annie stood beside my side. With my arms crossed against my stomach and Annie with her hands on her hips. We were listening to Peeta and Finnick yelling at us to jump into the water. They were threatening us to jump into the lagoon or else. Sounds threatening, I thought as I looked to Annie. Annie, she gave me a slight smile looking at the area that separated us from the boys. Looking between us and the boys a flicker appeared in her eyes. "If I'm going to have to go in," she said, "I might as well make a splash." With that she took a few steps back before jumping off the dock into the air. Quickly tucking her knees to her chest and locking her arms around them, she hit the water with a splash. Then seconds later as she surfaced the water the boys erupted in cheers.

Screaming and shouting, I looked down at the guys who were now cheering and calling for me to jump. I was the only one left, it was my turn. Jump. I was expected to jump, it was my turn. Jump. "Jump," Finnick shouted as he splashed some water up at me, "Do it!" I shuffled on my feet. Annie laughed as she slashed water back at Finnick telling him to shut up, "Come on Katniss." Side stepping then looking below I questioned myself, jump or not? I could swim, I could flip, I could dive, I could jump- why hadn't I jumped in yet. The scars, I thought, they would see them. Continuing to look down at the water below I heard Finnick shout, "Don't make us send Peeta up there." Looking to Peeta who was quietly treading water beside Annie, he gave me a smile.

I stomach knotted as it did the night before. Was I sick? I did get the stomach flu or something? Had I eaten something spoiled? Had I gotten alcohol poisoning? Was there something wrong with me? Teenage emotions? That's what happened in books and movies right, the butterfly feeling occurred when the girl liked the guy, right? I didn't like Peeta, did I? No, I couldn't like Peeta, could I? What was happening? "Jump," someone shouted breaking my train of thought. Jump, the word rang through my head, jump. Then mind of matter I took an extra step or two backward. Jump, I thought. And then once far enough back, I stopped. Jump. Not knowing what I was doing, I took a deep breath then ran. Jump. I ran to the edge of the dock. Jump, my mind screamed. And as my foot pushed off of the edge, I dove into the water.

…

Hours had gone by and the sun had begun to fall closer and closer toward the horizon. It was a little after midafternoon and we still had a few hours before night would fall. We had spent the last few hours goofing around in the lagoon. From first having a splash contest which Peeta victoriously won to having a flipping contest off the dock which I had been too stubborn to agree upon a tie score with Finnick, we had fun. We had even flipped over Finnick's old, green two-seater kayak as a result it was bottom up in the water so we could have chicken and noddle fights upon which surprisingly Annie had taken all glory in, I couldn't understand how she won, I assumed the boys dialed down their play allowing her to win. I hadn't participated in the games; they were too open, too revealing, I didn't want them to see the scars, no yet, maybe not never.

Now however as I climbed up the dock ladder, Annie handed me towel which I quickly wrapped around myself covering the scars. Giving Annie a nod I mumbled a thank you and she gave me a warm smile. Our friendship had been growing; well more like improving. Since my black out, she had become so worried and concerned about me. Yet since then little by little she has gotten better. There had been less concerned looks and less whispered _are you okay_s. I'm not saying she had stopped her worrying overall, I'm just saying it had been slowly declining; I'm just saying it's gotten better, life was slowly getting better.

I was making friends. First Peeta and then Annie. I liked Annie and mine's friendship. Annie and I were a lot alike. Silent. Invisible. Little. Annie and I are able to be placed in the same room together and not have to say a word to one another and that's perfectly okay between us. We've developed a silent relationship where words are not necessary. She would raise her eyebrows at me in concern and I would give her a reassuring nod. She would give me a heartwarming smile like Peeta's nevertheless it was by no means quite like Peeta's. Yet Annie would give me soft smile, worried eyes, and numerous other looks that ranged and differed and with each I would respond with a slight nodded and sometime even a willful smile. We became friends. First Peeta, then Annie, and somewhere down the line Finnick. I had made friends.

It makes me smile when I think of my friendship with Annie and then my friendship with Finnick. Not only are our friendships completely different, but the fact that Annie and Finnick are absolutely different people makes me question how the hell they are able to have a relationship with one another. Annie was the shy silent type while Finnick was the fun cocky bastard that you hated but couldn't help but love at the same time. And then there was Peeta, the joyful baker no one seemed to be able to dislike. Feeling a smile grow across my lips, Annie's eyebrow jutted up in curiosity of what was running through my head. "What," she asked. I shook my head at her letting her know it was nothing. Was it nothing though? Shaking my head no, I shook the thought from my head as I walked toward the back deck of Finnick's house.

…

Once dry or reasonably no longer drenched, we headed back into the house to change back into our clothes. As I shut the door behind me as I walked into Finnick's step-sister's, Johanna's, room who was off in Spain traveling I quickly dropped the beach towel I had wrapped around my stomach pulling my thin, green V-neck over my bikini. In suit I grabbed my jeans out of my bag, pulling on my pant leg of my jeans in a sad attempt, I harshly tugged the torn fabric causing me to lose my balance. Uncontrollably falling as gravity pushed me down, I felt a hand wrap around my back balancing. My scars, I thought as I quickly pulled away. As I stumbled feet away I wrapped my arms around my sides and as far as possible back in hopes I could cover my back even though I wore a thin, tattered shirt which perfectly covered me I still felt exposed.

I turned to see a concerned Peeta. Shit, I thought. His eyes were sad and face emotionless. I knew I had hurt. First the avoiding him after my black out and not pulling away from his touch I felt as if I was contentiously hurting him. Why was I such a bad person? "Sorry," I mumbled, "I didn't know it was you, you… you surprised me." He nodded, "Sorry, I knocked but you didn't answer. So I… accident… you know… I didn't mean to… I… when I… you were…" He stuttered on, losing himself in the words. Shit, I thought, he was usually so good with words and this is want I make him do. Shit.

Awkwardly standing there for a moment I turned away, zipping my jeans and grabbing my shoes and bag off the floor. Turning back, Peeta stood before me hands in pockets. Nodding his head I attempted to give him a smile. Awkward that was how the situation before me could be described. It was nothing more than just plain, old awkward. Standing there for a moment longer, Peeta shuffled on his feet finally breaking the silence. "Do you want to go out front?" I nodded stepping in rhyme with him out on the room, into the hallway, out the back sliding door onto the back deck and along the stone path around to the front of the house.

Reaching the front of the house, Peeta ran his hand through his hair, scratching the back of his neck. Then looking to Annie and Finnick who say on the front step Peeta looked to me, "Do you want to grab something to eat at the Capitol?" But before I could answer, Finnick shouted, "Yes! We could the five topped- uh." Annie elbowed him in the ribs, "Fin you promised Effie you would help her rearrange and put up decorations at the boutique." As Finnick mumbled shit, Annie gave an enthusiastic smile as Peeta turned to me with hopeful eyes. "Yeah, sure."

…

So here we were, Capitol Pizza. By Peeta and Finnick it was the best pizza in Naval Cove. Peeta and I were sitting at small table that could only fit two by the pizzerias window. I was swirling my straw around in my cup of iced water as Peeta went on about a story from his childhood when Marcus had accidentally knocked him off the dock at Fin's house. Then were going kayaking when Marcus turned without looking and hit Peeta with the paddle sending him over. When he fell, it was low tide so thankfully the area which he fell over into was only a foot of so of water. I had to say the way in which he descried it and comments he added in made me smile, he made me happy.

As Peeta continued telling his story a boy approached our table. He was probably around Peeta's age. He was average height with short, dark hair. He wore a gray Capitol Pizza t-shirt and I saw he was carrying two paper plates in his hands. He was our waiter. He was the boy that greeted Peeta when we first walked in the Capitol. Marvel, I think that was what his name was. He was friends with Peeta. Peeta said they were on the wrestling team or something along those lines. "And here's your pizza," Marvel said placing our plates in front us. "Peperoni and mushroom for my man and for his lovely date white with spinach. Enjoy."

I was frozen. Date. Date. Date? Did Marvel just say date? Did he just apply I was on a date with Peeta? Was I on a date? Did I agree to this? Was that why Annie and Finnick didn't come? Were they even helping out Effie or was it a cover? Did Peeta ask them not to intrude? Oh crap, I was on a date. Looking up to Peeta, I poked at my slice of pizza uncomfortably. "Peeta," I spoke softly, "Is this a date?" He looked to me with a frantic expression in his eyes. "Um… I was hoping… yes… well if you want it to be… do you want this to be a date?" Did I want this to be a date, I thought. I didn't know. I wasn't one to date, not after seeing how love ruined my mother. I told myself I would never love anyone, but Prim… Prim, I remember how she always talked about us growing old and getting married. She always smiled when she talk of this, it made her happy. Happiness, she always said that was something I deserved. Peeta, he was sweet and caring and made me happy. "Yes."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The Word

…

"Sweetheart," Haymitch says surprisingly evenly for it being eight in the evening just as the back door to the kitchen shut behind Peeta, "Is there something going on between you and the boy?" My eyes immediately dart away from Haymitch and down at the cartoon of pork fired rice Peeta had brought over just moments ago. "Yeah," I mumbled picking the pieces of carrots out of the rice and setting them on a paper towel. I, Katniss Everdeen, am dating Peeta Mellark. I had become that person. I had become the person I had never thought I'd become. I had become that person I swore I would never become. I had become somebody's someone. I had become happy for once in a very long time… and it all scared the shit out of me.

"Good," I heard. Looking up I saw Haymitch nodding his head in approval. Did Haymitch just say something good about someone, I thought. "He's a good kid," he said taking a bite out of his egg roll. I nodded my head in agreement. Peeta was a good kid… a good brother… a good friend… a good baker… and a good human being overall. It made me question why he had chosen me, the crazed broken girl. There girl who cried… who screamed… who barely spoke… who cringed away from a person's touch… a girl who was far from good. Hearing the clattering of dishes Haymitch made his way out of the kitchen only to stop at the doorway that lead to the hall. "You could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him," he said before walking out of the room. And all I could do was nod my head in agreement… it was true.

…

Hearing the faint sound of laughter, I felt my body wake. Did I fall asleep again? Damn nightmares, I thought. Wait, where was I? Cautiously opening my eyes, I came face to face with the novel I had been reading that was now sand covered on top of the orange beach towel I was laying on. The beach, I was on the beach with… Marvel, Annie, Finnick and Peeta. The sun on my back, sand in between my toes, and soft crashes of the ocean waves in the not so far distance, I was happy. And then in one swift motion someone grabbed me by my waist and swung over their shoulder causing me to come face to face with a sun tan, tone back. Peeta's back. Hearing a loud squeal, I turned my head to see Annie swung over Finnick's shoulder. Then looking up I could see a smile painted across Finnick's face, this couldn't be a good thing.

Seeing the sand change from a dry, grainy tan form to a tinted, wet brown, I knew they were carrying us toward the ocean. It was then in a matter of moments when Peeta's feet stepped into the swallow water that I began to squirm. Hearing Peeta let out a soft laugh in my attempt to escape, I hit his lower back with my fist. "Ow," he said sarcastically, "That hurt." "You deserved it," Annie yelled from aside of us. Peeta laughed again, "Did I Annie?" Looking over at Annie, she nodded. "Hey, Fin," Peeta yelled, "You might wanna loosen your grip." So with that said, Finnick quickly let go of Annie for no more than a second causing her to lose her balance, nearly causing her to come in touch with the water before Finnick grabbed her waist again, balancing her. It was then that I realized the guy were a little more than waist deep in the water. And then we went under.

The water was cold, almost freezing. It was nearly eighty-some degrees out and the water felt as if it was negative twenty. Its touch caused my skin to break out in goose bumps. It sent a chill through my bones, snapping me waking. Opening my eyes for a mere second, I could see the bubble filled, sandy, sea-green water. It a beautifully… numb, I thought as I felt my body shiver and my lungs ache. I kicked my legs breaking the surface. Breath, I told myself, in and out. Breath. Taking a few deep breaths I felt my body loosen. I felt my body relax, I felt tranquil. Trending water I realized I wasn't near anyone or else I couldn't see anyone. Marvel was back on the beach looking to be flirting with some girl in a pink bikini and Annie and Finnick were near the coast, splashing around in the shallow water. Where was Peeta? Quickly turning around I came face to face with Peeta. He gave me a small smile.

Doing my best to return the smile I felt myself fail miserably as I saw Peeta's face fall in despondency. Feeling him grab me up by my rib cage, I felt his fingers linger over my scars, causing me to pull away from his touch. Quickly taking in my reactions, his hands moved away from my rib cage and down to my hips. Then slowly he lift me up so our foreheads touched. "You need to get some sleep Katniss," I heard him mumble. I didn't respond, I couldn't respond because I knew he wouldn't like the answer. I didn't want to sleep. When I went to sleep I woke up screaming. The nightmares had taken over. I woke up some nights at three in the morning in a cold sweat. I would wake up crying and screaming. I wouldn't go back to sleep after that. Instead I would go out and sit on the dunes till it neared time when Peeta would come to make breakfast. I would then go back to my room, change clothes and find my way to the kitchen.

The days and weeks I had lived outside the hospital and recovery center had finally taken a toll on me. I had deep purple bags under my eyes and my movements had become sluggish. I had become a version of the living dead. I had begun to miss the medicated sleeps they put me under at the hospital. Even though the hospital had made my stomach knot and curl, at least then the nightmares didn't flood my mind. "I'll try," I whispered closing my eyes. Feeling Peeta's hot breath murmur against my lips, I knew he was trying to find his words. Yet feeling his face tilt toward mine, I felt him gradually press his lips against mine. The kiss began slow, like a fire. And then it built up till it had burst into flames. I felt him run his tongue across my lower lip, parting my lips slightly. I ran my hands through his hair as I felt his tongue explore me. I felt myself gasp in surprise and in perfection of how good the kiss felt. The kiss was full of grace and passion. When we finally parted I felt myself trying to catch my breath. Oh shit.

…

Feeling the solo red, plastic cup slip from my hand and to the floor with a splash, a curse escaped my lips. Keep it together Katniss, I thought. Leaning over to pick up the cup, I saw a hand beat me to it. Looking up I saw Peeta. Watching him place the cup on the nearest table, he took me by the hand. "Come on," he said. Leading me through the crowd, up the stairs, and down the hall, he opened the last door of the room at the end of the hall. Not bothering to turn on the light, he led me straight into the room, sitting me down on the twin bed that pushed up against the room's north wall. The walls were a light shade of orange like a sunset with drawing paper filled with sketches and scribbles hanging by thumbtacks on them. There was a wooden desk covered with pencils and papers. There was a closet where jackets and jeans and button downs and whatnot hung. There was a bookshelf filled with books, trophies, and little do-dads. This was Peeta's room.

Crouching down in front of me, he placed his hands on my shoulders. "Lay down, get some sleep." I shook my head in protest. I couldn't, I thought, or else the nightmares would come to hunt me. "Please," Peeta pleads with me, "You could barely hold yourself up down there." I don't say anything. I can't deny it, it's true. "I'll get everyone out of the house if that's what you're worried about," Peeta says with a strained voice, "Marcus and Rye won't care; no one will mind." I looked at him. I could see the strain in his eyes, he was worried. "Please." Unwillingly I laid down on the bed. Peeta helped me take off my boots and then covered me with a nearby blanket. Scrunching his pillow under my head, I looked up at him in fear. The nightmares, he didn't know of them. Nevertheless giving me a soft smile, he kissed me on the forehead. "I'll be right back," he said as he headed to the door.

…

I jolt up with an irritated itch running down my throat, the ruminates of a blood curdling scream. My hair was plastered to the back of my neck and tears were cascading down my cheeks. My legs were twisted and tangled in the bed's sheets and I felt a pounding in the back of my head my head. Nightmares. The immediate thought of them caused me to quake in fear. Curling up into the fetal position, I hugged my knees to my chest as tightly as possible as if I was keeping myself from shattering into a millions pieces. And truth be told, I was on the edge of shattering, I was on the edge of no return some would say. Then I softly I began to cry through my closed eyes. The nightmares, I couldn't escape them.

Hearing the slight creak of the bedroom door open, I continued to cry. "Katniss," I heard. Peeta my brain retorted, but the voice didn't respond. It had to be Peeta, right? He said he would be right back, right? I heard the floorboards creak as the person moved closer toward me. Feeling the bed dip down beside me, a pair of arms wrapped around me. Picking me up, they set me down into their owners lap. Then leaning my head into the crook of the person's neck the scent of vanilla and cinnamon filled me. Peeta, I thought, it was Peeta. And as I continued to cry into his neck, he rubbed circles up and down my back. "It's okay," he murmured into my hair, "It's okay." And I cried harder cause I couldn't help but think it wasn't okay. My father was gone. My mother was gone. Prim was gone. And it all haunted me, it was all my fault.

I don't know how long it was till I ran out of tears to cry, it could have been a few minutes or an hour, but over time my crying ceased. Slowly and steadily, Peeta laid me back onto the bed. Fixing his pillow under my head, he pulled a blanket up to my shoulders. "Go back to sleep," he whispered as he lifted himself off the bed. A sense of warmth left my side and a sense of strength seemed to disappear. As I felt him leave, I felt the emptiness grow inside of me. I'm sure he was nearly out the door when I mustered up my voice, barely whispering, "Stay." I suppose Peeta had heard me because I heard the door shut and the floorboards creak, and then the bed shifted beside me. Then and there oh so carefully and quickly, Peeta laid down beside me pulling me against his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist he, and propping his head above mine on the pillow. That was when I heard him whisper a word I will never forget as it made me feel so secure, so safe, so full, so… loved, "Always."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The Visitor

…

Sitting on the counter in the back of the bakery, the backdoor opened to the renewed scent of fresh baked pizza. My stomach grumbled in response as I first breathed its magnificence. I thought I was going to starve to death sooner or later. The twins had been gone for nearly an half an hour leaving me in charge of the bakery. I swore if they hadn't made it back by now, I was thinking about falling into temptation and eating a couple of the cheese buns Peeta had made this morning. Peeta, we're still going out. It's weird, I didn't think we would have had made it this long, I don't think anyone did. Especially after that night a week ago, I was the most surprised when Peeta just didn't go. That night, Peeta had seen me at my worst and he hadn't run for the hill, but instead he embraced it and stood with me through it all. He was just pure good. Haymitch's words were right, not in a thousand lifetimes would I ever deserve him.

Seeing as Marcus walked into the middle of the room, setting the pizza box beside me, he grinned, "Someone's hungry." Dammit, I thought, he must have heard my stomach. Playfully I push my hand against his shoulder as I watched Rye come up behind him, setting a case of orange soda on the counter beside the pizza box. Then seeing Marcus open the box, a delicious cheese pizza topped with sausage and spinach was revealed. Rye, Marcus, and I had argued over what to get. Rye wanted plain cheese, Marcus wanted sausage and mushroom, and I wanted spinach. And so we compromised, each one of per allowed to pick one and only one topping to which we would choose to put on the pizza; thus leaving us with a sausage, spinach, and cheese pizza.

And then as I reached for a slice of the pizza, pulling one from the pie, I heard it. I heard it, the familiar rumble of a too old, too rusted, too impaired motorcycle engine. The sound seemed so lovely yet so haunted. Dropping the slice of pizza, I hopped off the counter and made my way to out the door. I could feel Marcus's and Rye's eyes following me, but I didn't care, I need to find it. So out the door of the kitchen to the front register I stopped. Through the window, I my eyes were fixed on what was parked across the street. There it was, the silver rusted motorcycle that I had grown up on. The metal was tarnished, the leather seat worn, and the faded license plate that read, _Ash 106_. It had been belonged to my grandfather long ago who had passed it down to my father who had passed it down to me. It was mine, my motorcycle. And there just a cross the street it sat in all its glory.

Then in my head as I debated whether or not to jump over the register and out the door to go to it, but the customer bell rang. I turned and then in one swift motion I turned to see him. He was still himself. I suppose I thought he would have changed, but he was still himself. He was still tall with board shoulders and a muscular frame. His thick, chocolate colored hair was pushed back and his eyes were still a crystal shade of gray. He wore the same familiar faded jeans he wore to anywhere nice with a green button up. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows revealing the faint pink outline of a scar that ran from the inside of his wrist to close near his elbow. And with his school bag hanging over his left shoulder and a small silver keychain that he fiddled with between his fingers, he looked to me with a smile, "Hey Catnip."

Gale, my mind thought. Gale. He was here. He came. He said he would. Why didn't I believe him? The same reason you thought he would have changed, my brain retorted. And why was that, I thought. Nevertheless it didn't matter, he was here. He had kept his promise like he always did. He was here. His person was here. Gale. Hearing the back door of the bakery, I could hear Marcus and Rye from behind. They were saying something about food, something about the pizza, something about cold. I don't know what they were saying, their words weren't processing. Yet I didn't care about whatever they were saying, it didn't at this moment in time. Gale. Stepping forward, I placed my hands on the register counter, lifting myself over. Then with a graceful plop, I landed on the other side. There, there I stood only inches away from him. Gale. Looking up at him, I took a step forward. Wrapping my arms around his waist and my cheek pressed against his chest, I hugged him. Hesitating for a second, Gale then wrapped his arms around me, placing his chin on top of my head. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

…

As Gale and I sat at the counter of the Capitol, I thought of what had happened in the past day. The beginning: Gale showed up last night at the bakery. The following: After showing up, I skipped out on dinner with Marcus and Rye and Gale which caused me receive a few confused and questioning looks. We rode back to Haymitch's. Haymitch was standing in the front door when we had pulled up. He smiled at the sight on my father's bike and gave Gale a firm handshake. We went inside, talking around the kitchen counter while we ate Haymitch's "homemade" mac & cheese. The now: I had woken up this morning beside Gale on the couch from a dreamless sleep. I got a shower and changed to come back to find Gale rummaging around the refrigerator. And beside the uncooked pancake batter and bruised bananas, there wasn't much to eat as a result that Peeta had been away for two days visiting his grandparents so we found our way to the Capitol.

A small bowl of filled with linguine and chicken was slid in front of me causing me to look up to see Marvel. "Hey, Kat," he said looking to Gale sitting beside me. "Hey Marvel, this is my friend, Gale." Looking from me to Gale and back Marvel gave him a smile as he reached out his hand. Shaking Gale's hand he said, "Nice to meet you man, I'm Marvel." Gale nodded his head and mumbled a "You too." Turning his attention back to me, Marvel said, "You going to the party tonight?" Party, I thought, I didn't know there was a party tonight. "Whose," I asked. "Cato's, Cato Burns." Cato Burns, the name seemed to ring a bell, but I couldn't figure out the face it went with or where I had head the name before. Seeing my confusion, Marvel said, "The guy who stole Rye's girlfriend. You know the guy Rye got into a fight with at the last party and Peeta went overboard." Oh, tall crew-cut blond with the not so friendly eyes. Was that such a good idea, I thought, going to _his_ party considering what happened last time?

Obviously knowing what I was thinking, Marvel shook his head at me. "Cato won't even be there probably and if he does show it's only a couple minutes before he finds a girl to take up to his room. Plus his parents are rich and the boozes are good." Sensing Gale eyeing me, Marvel stated, "And I know you haven't talked to Peeta cause of you giving him time with his grandparents or whatever but he is going because god knows what will happen if Rye shows up and shit goes down. So he's gonna drive straight from his grandparent there. He'll probably make it mid-way through the party." Should I? I could bring Gale, he could meet my friends. It wouldn't be weird, would it? I think Gale would like that, plus Gale was always a partier. "Fine," I mumbled, "Send me the address later and we'll show." Giving me a smile, he said, "Yes! Aw, this is gonna be a good night." Then hearing his name being called from the kitchen he excused himself saying he would see me tonight. At that point I looked to Gale to see him giving me a suspicious look. "People? Partying? Booze? Fight? What's happened to you, Catnip?" Life, I thought as I smiled at him. Nevertheless nudging him in the ribs with my elbow I avoided his question as I muttered, "Shut up."

…

The party had been fun so far. We had been hanging out in the living room of the Burn's home. Finnick sitting in the recliner with Annie on his lap, Marvel sitting on the leather couch with some girl they called Foxface whom which he was playing slaps with, Peeta and I were leaning on each other as we sat on the edge of the coffee table, and Gale leaning up against the wall eye us. Of course there were a few other people in the room but we didn't seem to blend with them. Gale on the other hand had been quite social. At the moment Finnick, Peeta, and himself were having some argument over football. One team's quarterback would have been the best in the league if he hadn't been injured or something. I was just surprised to see him getting along with everyone, especially with Peeta. I haven't explained to him yet what Peeta and I are, but I think he got the gist of it when Peeta gave me a kiss when he first walked in. But every now and then I see him looking around at Peeta and I with questioning eyes.

I'm not sure really why I haven't told him yet, it just hasn't seemed to come up. I don't think I wanted it to come up. Gale and I were like siblings but… there was something else. A few weeks before the accident we had started dating. It was nothing big really; he took me to this dinner called the Hob, we went out to the movies once, and hung out at his house a little more often. He tried not to make big deal out of it all, but it had been a pretty big deal, at least for him. His brother, Rory, had confessed to me one day the year before during our free in school that his brother was in love with me. Gale was in love with me. I never thought of it much. Maybe Gale and I could… but hell I didn't want to get married after seeing what happened to my mother after my father's death or even date for the matter. Yet even before we started dating, people thought we were a couple, some even thought we were going to elope after high school. Then he asked me out and you could see the glow in Gale when I said sure.

It was our third "date." Gale and I had been driving to a party when halfway there we realized Prim laying in the backseat. I wanted to take her back home, but that didn't happen. Prim had made a good argument on why we should let her stay and go to the party with us. Gale backed her up. I even backed her up even though I wouldn't admit it. So we went to the party. We didn't drink or anything, maybe we would have if Prim wasn't there, but we had to be responsible. At some point it started raining and we decided it was time we headed back. And then no more than a mile away from home, the accident happened. Prim died, mom was gone, and I was alone. Gale and I weren't together, I just couldn't do it. It wasn't because I blamed him, I didn't, I just couldn't do it .Gale understood and he knew his new role was just to be there for me. Since then he had been my rock. We didn't talk about our relationship and now I knew we would have to and I was dreading it.

Standing up I felt Gale's and Peeta's eyes on me. "I'm going to get a drink, anyone else?" Shaking their heads no, I headed to the kitchen. I had to say the house was elegant and that Cato knew how to throw a good party. As I reached the kitchen, I pulled the door to the large, stainless steel refrigerator open. Booze. There were countless bottles of booze ranging from cheap water downed beers to some pretty pricy whiskey. Reaching for one of the glass beer bottles, I felt a hand grab me my shoulder and pin me against the opposite refrigerator door. Looking up, I came face to face with a familiar looking, blue eyes and blond haired boy. Cato. "Hey sexy," he said evenly even though his breath reeked on liquor. Cringing away from his touch, he stepped pressing his chest to mine. "Not so fast," he said leaning his face to mind. Closing my eyes I pushed my hands against his chest, but he didn't budged. Then feeling his lips on my and hands moving up toward my chest, I began to squirm.

Why wasn't anyone doing anything, I thought, why was no one doing anything. Feeling his hand dance over my scars I gasped and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I pushed at his chest against again, but he didn't move. He had me pinned. I couldn't move, it was as if nothing worked. That's when I felt the tears begin to well up and spill over. No, no, no, I thought, no. Then in one swift motion, Cato was pulled off me. My head began to spin as I watched the scene taking place before me. Peeta punched Cato. He pushed Cato up against the counter. People were backing away from them. A few people started yelling fight. Annie, Gale and Finnick were then beside me. Seeing the outline of a bruise form along Peeta's cheekbone, he punched Cato in the nose causing blood to stream from it. Peeta took him by the front of his shirt and punched him across the jaw. Cato went down and Peeta stood there, chest heaving and eyes wandering. Spotting me, he immediately made his way over, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," he said into my hair as I cried into his shirt. Rubbing circles on my back, my eyes began to hurt and the tears began to run dry. Parting us, Peeta looked me in the eyes. "Stupid question, but are you okay?" It was a stupid question, but that was Peeta, stupidly considerate. It made me smile a bit and laugh a little. "Home," I said with a sniffle, "Can we go home?" Giving me a smile, he said, "Sure." Then pulling me back into a hug, he gave me a tight squeeze. We stood in our embrace for what seemed like a million moments. There I felt so safe. Yet hearing Gale's voice break the silence he said, "What did he do?" I cringed at the question as Peeta replied, "Kissed her." Looking to Gale, I saw his face flare up with anger, this wasn't good. Watching him step a few yards away, he walked over to Cato who now stood on the other side of the room among a few guys with a cocky smile playing across his lips as he looked at me. Then seeing Gale's knee connect with his groin and hand with face, he went down. Gale calmly took a deep breath before returning to my side. "You good," Peeta asked. And all he did was nod before saying, "Let's get out of here."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The Protected

…

Rolling over in my sleep, I heard the faint whispering of voices. The conversation seemed to be talked upon lightly but nevertheless had some deeper meaning. Turning again, I gripped the blanket that had been wrapped around me as I brought my knees to my chest. The conversation seemed to halt at my movements, but then continue after an instant. "So, you and Katniss," I heard. The voice was hush, but pressing. It was familiar, homely, it was Gale's. Then another voice responded. It was kind and joyful, tranquil and friendly. There was no doubt the voice belonged to Peeta. "Yeah," he said no doubt smiling. There was a moment of silence before Peeta spoke again. "You two were together once before weren't you?" I heard Gale taking a breath, "Yeah… that was before the accident though." I felt myself quiver a little, the accident. "You still love her though," Peeta stated. Then I heard Gale let out a laugh, "I don't think I will ever be able to stop loving her." Peeta laughed too, "She doesn't seem like one that easy to let go. "

They both gave a little laugh at this remark, no guess smiling as well. Letting go? Love? Me? The laughter died down as Gale spoke again. "You seem like a good guy, Peeta. You seem good for her… You seem to make her happy and she deserves to be happy. She has gone through hell her whole life and god knows she still is. So you better treat her right. You make her happy. You do whatever the hell she wants you to do. And I swear to god if you do anything to hurt her I will beat the shit out of you." Gale had spoken truthfully. Peeta was a good guy. He made me happy; he had filled me with life again. And I knew that sadly Gale was speaking honestly when he said he would beat Peeta up if he ever did anything to hurt me. In addition I knew it would have been a hell of a lot worse than what he would do to the kids who picked on Prim. Yet for some reason I knew Peeta never would hurt me, I just had a feeling and his response confirmed that as he said, "I would kill myself before you could even get to me if I were to ever hurt Katniss."

…

We were sitting on one of the pier benches, Gale and I. Peeta and everyone else had gone to ride the Slingshot. I didn't want to ride it again; I didn't want a repeat of last time. Everybody had looked at me with worried eyes after realization of what they were going to do. Nevertheless I gave them a smile and shook my head no, mumbling about maybe another time. In addition, Gale wasn't going to ride the ride either; he was never much of an amusement park type of guy. Peeta had offered to stay with me, but I told him to go. Nonetheless he didn't take the subject lightly, but with much argument or maybe you could have considered it pleading he went. So here I was sitting beside Gale. We have been here for a while now, a little over ten minutes I would say, just sitting in silence. And as if the silence was getting too much to handle, I felt Gale's shoulder nudge against me. "I'm happy for you." I looked to him confused. After all I had done to him, he was happy for me? "You probably shouldn't."

I heard him laugh at my response. "Katniss, I am. I'm happy for you… It obviously wasn't going to work out. Hell, I wish I did, but the odds just weren't in our favor. And yeah, it's upsetting; god knows I wished it had worked out between us. Yet it didn't and that seems to be the end of it." He paused taking a breath. "You and I, we're family. But you and him… you two are something totally different. You're good together. He makes you happy. He makes you… at ease. He's just a damn golden boy." At this I couldn't help but laugh and neither could Gale. "I'm happy for you though," Gale continued, "I'll always be your best friend. And I swear to god if he does anything to hurt you I will come right back down here and beat the living shit out of him." Smiling to myself, I leaned my head against his shoulder, "Thank you Gale… and I'm sorry for everything." Leaning him head on top of mine, he whispered into my hair, "I'm sorry too, Catnip."

…

Standing on the station platform, the departure of transit 156 was announced over the loudspeaker. Frantically looking around for Gale as I didn't want Hazelle to worry if he missed his train I turned to see him and Peeta walking toward me. Finally, I thought, I was starting to think I had to call Hazelle and tell her that her son played stupid and missed his train. It was shortly after arriving at the train station, we had made our way to the platform from where Gale dragged Peeta off saying he forgot something in the truck. That was fifteen minutes ago. And of course I knew it complete bullshit, that Gale need Peeta's help to go get something out of the truck. I'm not that stupid but I played along anyway. Gale was probably, no mostly talking to Peeta about me. Gale was probably threatening him that if he harmed me saying he wouldn't live to see light of tomorrow. As they reached me, another announcement went over the loudspeaker announcing the departure of Gale's train in less than five minutes.

"Hey," he said pulling me into a bear hug. "Hey," I whispered against his chest as I wrapped my arms around his rib cage, "You better call." "You better pickup." I gave a little laugh, "I think I can manage that." Knowing Gale's face had formed into a cheerful smile at this remark, I heard him laugh softly. "I'm gonna miss you, Catnip." At this point in time I felt tears beginning to prickling up against the corner of my eyes. This was a goodbye in a way, but not really. I was going to see Gale again, but who knew how long. "I'm going to miss you too." "Good," he said letting out an over exaggerated breath of air, "I was beginning to think this was all one-sided." Slapping him in the shoulder with the palm of my hand, I hugged him tight, "Not anymore, I promise." Giving me a slight squeeze back, he kissed my forehead murmuring against my skin, "Good, let's keep it that way." Holding onto me for a moment longer, we finally separated.

I took a step back, taking my place beside Peeta. Time seemed to slow as I watched Gale sling his backpack over his shoulder. Another announcement rung through the station calling for the final passengers of transit 156 to board the train, Gale was leaving. Looking to the train and then at us, I knew this was goodbye for now. "Peeta," Gale said in a stern yet kind voice. "Gale," Peeta said in response with the nodded of his head. Then Gale's gaze turned to me, "Don't be a stranger." "I promise I won't," I said confidently. I would go back home one day. I would go see Hazelle and the kids, visit my father's grave, go and have lunch with Sea, and then maybe I would go see Prim's grave for the first time. "I love you Catnip," he said and I knew it wasn't in a romantic love, but a sibling love. I smiled leaning against Peeta, "I love you too Gale, send them my love, especially Posy." He smiled at me, "I promise." And then turning on his heels, Gale walked to the train. Handing his ticket to one of the attendants, he looked back at us with a smile before boarding. Then in a matter of minutes, the train's engine roared to the life and the train departed from the station.

…

Lying on the hammock in Peeta's backyard, I traced my fingertips from freckle to freckle along his neck playing an invisible game of connect the dots. "Are you okay," I heard him say. Was I okay? I had asked myself earlier this morning and I had come to the conclusion that I was. I was okay, once in a long time I was okay. There had just been so must going on. It started with the accident… then the realization of what had happened to me during the recovery process… followed by being shipped to Naval Cove… to meeting and opening up to Peeta Mellark… and then finally the last three days: Gale showing up, Haymitch becoming a little more sober, the incident with Cato had happening, Gale and Peeta had surprisingly gotten along with one another, me receiving my father's bike again, and the words used to make amend with Gale. A lot had happened, mostly good and a little bad. Yet what had happened in the past few days had resulted in me being more quiet than usual which had probably caused Peeta to worry. Nodding my head I said, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Peeta nodded in response and we fell back into our silence. After a bit, I turned my attention from Peeta's neck and rested my head on his shoulder so I could stare up at the stars with him. "They're beautiful," I heard him whisper through the silence. I smiled, "My dad and I use to lie down in our backyard during the summer and look up at the stars. He loved astronomy. He knew everything there was to know about the stars. He taught me everything he knew about them. By the time I was nine I knew them all. It was our thing." I felt Peeta's arm wrap around my waist, hugging me tight. "He sounds wonderful." I laughed a little. Wonderful was an understatement, my father was my best friend. He taught me everything I knew and showed me the little things that make life worth it. Best of all, he loved me. Nodding my head, we continued to stare up at the stars in silence. Every now and then I would point out a set of stars or Peeta would tell me to make a wish as he thought he spotted a shooting star yet they were always airplanes. One can always wish he would say. Time went by and in time I felt my eyes unwilling began close as Peeta's arm securely wrap around me.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The Cove

…

Sitting at the kitchen counter at Finnick's house I watched as his grandmother, Mags, shuffled around the area. From pulling cookies out of the oven to search the refrigerator for cold cuts, she was keeping busy. And as I sat there fiddling with my fingers, waiting for Finnick and Peeta to finish packing up the truck I felt a little unless. Mags, this eighty-some year old women, was rushing around while I sat here like a couch potato. "Do you need help?" Looking up from her work she looked me up and down as she did when Finnick had first instructed me to sit down in here and wait. Then nodding her head she pat the counter beside her where a loaf of bread, cheese, lettuce, and chicken where laid out, "Sandwiches." On that note, I stood and went to stand beside her. Making sandwiches as she bagged cookies and packed drinks into a backpack I felt a sense of happiness over take me. Then as I finished making the sandwiches and Mags had completed packing the backpack with food, Peeta and Finnick walked into the kitchen.

"That's right," I heard Finnick's voice come up from behind me, "Make me a sandwich women." Quickly turning around to slap him, I heard an _ouch_ only to see Mags's hand bouncing off the back of Finnick's head. "Behavior boy," Mags said in a scolding tone, "I didn't raise you like some wild child. Apologize." "Sorry Mags," he said looking down at his shoes as if he was child. Raising her eyebrows at him she jabbed him in the side with a spoon she said, "The girl." Looking to me Finnick said, "Sorry." I gave him a smile and Mags nodded her head in approval before turning back to her work. Then once in the clear of Mags's view, Finnick gave me a cocky smile along with a wink causing my cheek to flush in anger. I was going to step forward to slap him, but instead I see Peeta's fist connect with Finnick's shoulder causing him to cry out. "Dammit Peeta, what was that for?" "For flustering his girl," I heard Mags say from behind us. Turing to face her, she held the backpack out towards Finnick who graciously took it, "Have fun."

…

Pulling over to the side of the road where a wide dirt strip for parking was, Finnick threw the tuck into park. "Hi honey I'm home," he called from the cab of the truck, pulling the key out of the ignition. This caused a smile to become plastered across Peeta and mines lips. Then Peeta called out in response, "And what sort of time do you call this?" Letting out a soft laugh as Finnick climbed out of the cab he mumbled, "Not a reasonable time obviously." Hearing the door to the truck's bed creak open, Peeta jumped out. Then turning to me as I shuffled to the edge of the truck, he held out his arms for me. Setting my hands on his shoulders, Peeta grabbed me by my waist. Then in one swift moment he pulled me off the truck door toward him, out hips crashing together and in reaction I wrapped my legs around his waist to prevent me from falling back.

Giving me a devious smile, Peeta leaned forward bringing his lips to mine. The kiss was slow, but heated. Passion. Fury. Zeal. Then as the kiss deepened I wrapped my arms around Peeta's neck, bringing him even closer. Nevertheless the moment was ruined as an obnoxious cough brought us to a halt. Pulling away we could see that Finnick and Annie had made their way to the back of the truck and were only standing feet away. "Hey," Annie said grabbing a bag out of the trunk, "Wanna give a helping hand you two?" Giving her a smile I unhooked my legs from around Peeta's hips landing myself on the ground. Then giving Peeta a quick peck on the lips I reached for a backpack laying in the bed of the truck along with the blanket Peeta and I had been sitting on during the extent of the ride, I threw them over my shoulder. "Here and ready to serve, Captain," I said saluting Annie causing Finnick and Peeta to muffle laughter as Annie gave me the finger.

…

It was beautiful. The cove was beautiful. It was a stunning portrait of nature's magnificence. I felt as if had been here before, but I couldn't seem to make out the memory. But the feeling… I don't know. The cove, it was a small sheltered bay with a tiny plot of beach that was no bigger than a street block on the south end of Naval Cove. It was the cove which the island had gotten its name from. It was guarded from the sea and the nearby local beaches. It was a little isolated plot of land that had a source of pure beauty. One side of the cove was made of rocks that stood nearly two stories high. The other side of the cove was not as nearly towering in height as its opposing side of the cove was but was still a well-built barrier made of rock, sand, and grassy plants like the coast dune thistle and hairy spinifex that were found along the dunes of island. It was beautiful. The sand was a mixture of white and beige grains. The water was calm and gracefully rolled ashore and then back out to sea. It was gorgeous.

Feeling a hand grasp onto mine, I turned to see Peeta smiling down at me. "Come on," he said in a soft whisper pulling to me toward the group of people that had formed along the sand. Many of the people I recognized, was even friends with. This made me smile; I had gone from the girl with _a _friend to the girl who had more friends than she could count using her fingers. There was Marcus and Rye… Gloss and Cashmere… Marvel and Foxface… Rue and Thresh… and then one or two faces I hadn't seen before. Giving everyone a quick hello, we made our way through the group to where a bonfire had been lit in the center of a makeshift circle made up driftwood and rocks. Dropping our bags near one of the rocks Peeta pulled me close, planting a kiss on my lips. "Hey," he whispered. I smiled back, "Bonjour." Letting out a childish laugh he said, "Wanna go for a swim?" Looking to the water and then back to him, I nodded my head yes.

Thus as I took off my jean revealing my bikini bottom and was in the action of pulling my shirt over top of my head two muscular wrapped around my waist. "Stripping, darling." Tilting my head back, it rested against Rye's neck. "Just for you." He laughed, "You've changed." I laughed a little too, I have changed. Ever since Gale's visit I have become… Open. Normal. Carefree. Giving me a wet kiss on the cheek he said in Peeta's direction, "I might have to steal this one away from you, bro." Peeta laughed. "In your dreams." I could feel Rye smile at this. "Right, my dreams. You mentioned something about stripping didn't you, Kat," he said, "And something about going for a swim." I laughed, "I think that was you whom mentioned such events, Rye." "Mh hmm," he said, "Well darling lets go make some dreams come true why don't we." With that said Rye tightened his grip around my waist and picked me up like I weighed nothing, carrying me like a stack of books under his arm. Then he began to walk us towards the water.

…

Tightening his grip around my waist I shifted my head so it is resting over his chest allowing me to be able to hear the rhythmic beat of his heart. "Are you having fun?" I nodded my head. "The firework should be going off soon." "Fireworks," I questioned Peeta. He nodded brushing his thumb about across the palm of my hand. "It's Independence Day which is usually celebrated with fireworks and barbeques." I stiffened. Independence Day, today? "You know that it's Independence Day, right," he asked. It was Independence Day? Had it been that long? Two plus months had gone by already? No, that couldn't have happened, could it? "No," I say shaking my head. Carrying out a long pause I looked to the stars, "My father use to take Prim and I down to visit Haymitch on Independence Day. We would sit on dunes and watch as they shot the fire work off of the barge." My smile drops a little, "We stopped coming after he died." "I'm sorry," Peeta whispered.

Silence fell over us. And then minutes passed before a silver rocket shot into the air bursting into a thousand white, sparkly specks. Numerous rockets and fireworks followed. The sky lit up and burst with colors of white and blue… red and yellow… red and orange. And loud _boom_s and _snap_s echoed through the air. Turning to look up at Peeta I said. "They would have liked you. Especially Prim, you two would have gotten along so well." He gave me a smile, pulling me close. "I would have loved them." Giving him a smile I locked my arms around his neck, inching closer. Then drawing his face closer toward mine his lips met mine. Moving together, as one, they created a kind of electric. I glided my tongue across his lips causing him to part them. He let out a soft moan as our tongues immediately glide together in a passionate dance of craving. It is only when it became too much that I pull away. Attempting to catch my breath I lean my forehead against his feeling his heavy breath against my lips.

Then letting out a soft laugh he gave me a peck on the lips. "God Katniss. I… You… you are just… just so beautiful." This causing me to laugh provoked Peeta to pull me closer allowing him to nuzzle his nose against my neck. Now laughing even harder I wriggled and squirmed till I find myself lying on top of him. "You are beautiful, you know that right?" I was tempted to say no. I had scar, not just physically but emotionally. But I won't tell Peeta that, it would upset him, cause him to get angry. So instead I give him a smile and rest my head over top of his heart. The fireworks slowly began to die down and the cove became quiet. Rye and Marvel were drinking beer. Thresh and Rue were saying goodbyes, something about having to work in the morning. Marcus, Foxface, Gloss, and Cashmere were roasting marshmallows and hot dogs over the bonfire. Annie was balled up into Finnick's side as he traced figures along her arm. Peeta was playing with the tip of my braid as he held me close. And I was listening to the beat of Peeta's heart which reluctantly caused my eyes to close and the darkness to take me.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The Dinner

…

It was four o'clock. Four o'clock. Oh god, why did I agree to this. Dinner at Peeta's house was at seven o'clock. I have three hours. Three hours. Dammit, Peeta, you and your blue eyes just had to get your way my mind thinks. I couldn't sit around for the next three hours. That would be bad. I would overthink how the evening would turn out. A whole scripted series of events would go through my mind on how terribly the night could go. Me tripping in front of the Mellarks... me breaking out into tears… me insulting hid parents… me breaking something special… me falling for one of Marcus and Rye's pranks… me breaking something of value… me letting one of my lovely foul curses slip out… me freezing up and not knowing what to say… me having one of my moments… overall me messing the night up for Peeta in some way, shape or form. This wasn't going to be a good night.

When he asked me if I would have dinner with his family I didn't really want to just because, but I couldn't find it in myself to say no to his blue eyes. Those dam things seemed like they could get him out of jail for killing a man. They were a sea of blue in which you could lose yourself. But it wasn't till last night when Annie and Cashmere were asking me what I was going to wear that I realized what kind of trouble I had gotten myself into. I was having dinner with Peeta and his family. Family meant parents. No, no, no. I mean Christ; he was formally going to introduce me to his parents as his girlfriend. I didn't think I was one of those girls boys would actually do that with. Plus I mean I had met Mrs. Mellark once or twice while I was at the bakery and had waved to Mrs. Mellark from afar. Didn't those instances count as meeting them in some way? But to spend actual quality time with them… it kind of scared the shit out of me.

Looking up form bed, I grabbed my phone off the floor from where I had tossed it earlier. Five fifty-two. Shit. I overthought. Stupid Katniss, I thought, way to start the night. Rolling over I came to the foot of my bed. Then forcing myself into the sitting position I looked up to see the outfit Annie and Cashmere had picked out for me to wear. It consisted of a loose fitting, long sleeved collared dress that went down to my mid-thigh. The dress was black and came with a thin, copper colored belt that wrapped around my waist. The sleeves rolled up to my elbows and the dress buttoned enough to cover my chest. And with much argument I convinced Annie to allow me to wear the pair of high heeled boots Cashmere had given me. Smiling at the memory of Annie throwing her hands up in surrender I stood up, stripping out of my cloths and putting on the dress. Quickly lacing up the boots and rebraiding my hair I grabbed my bag before making my way out the door.

As I sat down on my motorcycle, adjusting my messenger bag over my shoulder and moving my braid to allow me to slip my helmet over my head I heard someone shouting from behind me. "Sweetheart!" Haymitch, my mind screamed in response. Turning my head I saw him jogging out of the house bare foot with a bouquet of white tulips in hand. Coming to a halt alongside the bike he handed the flowers to me. "For me," I said gushing with sarcasm, "you shouldn't have." Letting out a laugh he shook his head. "Give 'em to Mrs. Mellark. It's always nice to bring something over when you go to someone's house for dinner. And Effie informed me that the florist told her white tulips were her favorite." "Thanks," I said with a smile, "Thank you." He smiled, "No problem." Giving me a kiss on the forehead he said, "Don't make me look bad, sweetheart." Unable to take him seriously I broke out in laughter and Haymitch joined in.

…

Feeling nervous and jumpy and all around out of place I questioned myself again why I had agreed to do this. But without a thought, I reached out and knocked on the Mellark's front door. Here goes nothing, I thought. One… two… no one was answering the door… three… maybe something happened… maybe the dinner was canceled and on one informed me. Shuffling on the balls of my feet, twisting my fingers around the bouquet of tulips I looked back at my motorcycle that was parked no more than twenty-five feet away along the sidewalk. Four… five… thinking of making a run for it, I heard the front door open. Quickly turning to face my host I came to face Rye. "Oh, Kitty," he cried looking to the flowers I held in my hand, "You shouldn't have." Rolling my eyes I nudged him with my elbow stepping into the main hall of the house. "I brought them for your mother. If you had warned me they were your favorite I would have brought you a bouquet too."

Hearing a laugh coming down the hallway, a woman appeared. She was Peeta's mother for sure. Her blond hair was pulled back in a messy bun and eyes were an aqua color. She was short, petit woman. She was dressed in a purple sundress with a pair of sandals. Giving me a heartwarming smile she said, "You must be Katniss." I smile, "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Mellark; and these are for you." Gladly taking the tulips out of my hand she smiled, "White tulips. They're my favorite, you know, but you really shouldn't have." "It's the least I could do." Giving me another smile, she looked to Rye, "You are to be nice while I go put these in a vase…" Trailing off, Mrs. Mellark disappeared down the hall. Then seeing Rye glance down the hall from where his mother disappeared down and then out the door, he took me by the wrist leading up the stairs. So up the stairs and to the right we made our way to the end of the hall where we walked up a small set of steps and into a room.

There sitting on one of the two bed inside the room I saw Marcus. Two beds, two books shelves, two closets, posters of surfers and models taped to the wall, and clothes with an undefined cleanliness scattered along the floor I assumed this was Marcus and Rye's room. Giving them an odd look, Marcus motioned for me to come and sit beside him. So sitting down beside Marcus, Rye sat down on my other side. "So what's up?" Looking at me like I was crazy, Marcus shook his head. "I don't know how the hell Peeta got you to agree to dinner, but there are probably a few things he didn't mention." "One," Rye said, "Dads nice, like a really kindhearted guy so don't be creeped out by it, we know you're not really touchy, feely." "Two," Marcus said, "Moms okay. She's nice and all, but she can be a real bitch sometimes. She says stuff that shouldn't really be said or asked or whatever. She has no problem prying into people's personal lives." "Three," Rye said, "Peeta is going to be apologizing and making up for putting you through this hell forever so you better make the punishments good. I recommend you have him moon Father Claudius."

…

Sitting beside Peeta I poked at my salad as Mr. Mellark and Marcus talked about some fishing tournament coming up. Taking a bite of the cheese bun I had placed on my plate I felt something tap my knee. Quickly looking up I saw Peeta looking to Mr. Mellark who was looking at me. "The Naval Cove Annual Fishing Tournament is always a great event. Everyone comes out to either watch or participate. We even have some professionals come down every now and then trying to win the tournament. You should have Haymitch take you out," Mr. Mellark said, "He goes out every year, we see him out there all the time drinking and fishing. I'm sure you'd have fun plus it'd be good to have someone out there with him making sure he doesn't have one too many." Swallowing the piece of bread I was chewing on I gave Mr. Mellark a smile, "It sounds fun. I'll have to ask him about it, I haven't been fishing in a while." And as the conversation attempted to continue it soon died into an awkward silence filled with clattering utensils and hushed breathing. It wasn't till I heard Mrs. Mellark speak up that I knew I would soon miss that awkwardness.

"So Katniss, where are you from?" "Seam, Michigan," I said looking to meet her glaze. "Oh Michigan! I hear it's lovely there." I nodded, "The winters there are beautiful. The forest that's near out town's community college is just gorgeous during the winter. The trees shed their leaves and everything is coated in a layer of snow that flickers when the sun hits it at just the right angel." "Wow," she said," that sounds beautiful." There was a short silence before she decided to speak again, "Speaking of college, where do you plan to go? Marcus and Rye go to Fordham in New York. Marcus is studying business while Rye got himself into sociology. And Peeta is planning to go to John Hopkins for engineering, right dear?" Looking to Peeta as he nodded his head his eyes were fixed on me. He placed his hand on my knee giving it a squeeze of reinsurance as I assumed he should sense my unease dealing with the topic. Biting my lip I shook my head, "I'm not actually going to college. At least not this year, maybe the year to follow I'll go, but I haven't decided yet."

Seeing as Mrs. Mellark uneasily nodded her head I knew she was now judging me if she hadn't already. Disapproval was painted allover her face. "So… once the summer is over will you be returning to your family in Michigan?" Nearly dropping my glass I felt Peeta tighten his grip on my knee. "Mom, please," he pleaded. "What," she said, "I'm just asking her what she plans do to as she is not going to college." Setting down my glass of water I took a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Then looking up at Peeta I smiled who gave we a concerned look as I knew Marcus and Rye were doing form the other side of the table. "No," I said looking to the cream painted wall that stood tall behind Marcus, "I don't have a family to return to, Haymitch is all I really got left. Mt father died of lung cancer a while back when I was a kid and my sister was killed by a drunk driver less than a year ago." She nodded, "And your mother?" "Mom-" Rye began but never finished as I cut him off. "She abandoned me while I was in coma following the accident which caused my sister's death."

Now as I breathed unevenly I heard Mrs. Mellark speak again. "Such a shame… an orphan and a drunk." Such a shame… an orphan and a drunk, I thought. Did she… insult… was she… implying that… how dare she… talk that way… bitch… Feeling my breath catch and a rush of emotion flood my veins I felt as if I had been physically slapped across the face. Feeling my body begin to shake and my vision blur I quickly folded the napkin I had place on top of my lap during the beginning of dinner and placed in on the table. Then pushing my chair back I stood up. Feeling myself wobble a little I grasped the back of the chair for support. "Please excuse me… I need a moment." And with that said I felt my body taking me far away from Mrs. Mellark. Through the halls and out the doors I found myself pacing along the house's front porch. I had to breathe. In. Out. I needed air. In. Out.

As I caught my breath I felt a hand grasp onto my shoulder causing me to job. Quickly pulling away, I turned to see Mr. Mellark. I took in his image. He was tall with board shoulders. His eyes protected by a pair of black, wired reading glasses. His eyes though were a kind blue like Peeta's. His hair was like Marcus and Rye's though with the exception of the gray strands that were scattered throughout his blond, tuffled hair. Giving me a smile I felt wrapped my arms around my waist. "I'm sorry about my wife," he said in a soft, apologetic tone, "And I'm truly sorry about your family." Nodding my head I shuffled on my feet. "You want to go home?" I nodded my head again. "Okay, come on," he said, "I'll take to Haymitch's." "But my bike-" I began yet Mr. Mellark cut me off. "Katniss, I can't let you drive yourself home. You're crying and shaking. I'll take you home and have one of the boys bring you bike over later on tonight." Reaching to touch my cheeks my fingers came in contact with moist tears I hadn't realized I was crying. Nevertheless knowing Mr. Mellark was right that I couldn't drive myself home I willingly followed him out to the car.

…

Peeta by came later that night. He brought back my bike and bag I had forgotten by in Marcus and Rye's room when I stormed out of the Mellark house. I was curled up on the couch when Haymitch had let him in. I was still wearing the clothes I wore to his house. I could hear him apologizing to Haymitch when he first walked into the room. I remember him sounding sincere in his apology to Haymitch as his father had when he dropped me off. I remember Haymitch letting out a grunt before his footsteps disappeared down the hall toward his office. I remember Peeta kneeling down in front of me. I remember him apologizing to be for what his mother had said and the distance sound of the television playing in the background. I remember it being true and honest. I remember whispering something along the line of his mother being a bitch and him laughing. I remember laughing too. I remember Peeta a picking me up so he could lie beside me on the couch. I remember him pulling a blanket over us and wrapping his arms around my waist. I remember feeling safe.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The Catch

…

Following Haymitch along the docks we came to a stop along one of the docks wings where a boat was parked. Covered in a black tarp, Haymitch leaned over pulling it off. There under the tarp was a beautiful boat. Beautiful, I think that's the adjective people use to describe boats, boats are girls and girls can be beautiful so it'd make sense. Anyway… The boat looked old yet new. It was also classy as if it had been built by hand. The boat had to be no bigger than twenty feet. The frame was made of a chocolate colored wood. The gunwale that ran around the entire boat was polished a glossy white. The console rested against the port side of the boat and behind the sat small bench. The bow of the boat had an elevated floor from the rest of the boat that was probably an area for storage or sitting. The stern of the boat had a two hundred horsepower engine mounted on it. It was beautiful.

"It's beautiful," I said as I read the name along the side of the boat. _Maysilee_. It was a pretty name. I wondered who Maysilee was though. I never remember the name being mentioned. I remember hearing of a May once or twice back when my father was in the hospital, but I never met her or even hear of her since. Maybe May was short for Maysilee or could have been someone completely different. I could ask Haymitch about it… later. "I built it with my father," Haymitch smiled back, "It was right after your father and I got out of the marines." Nodding in recognition of this statement we stood there for a little longer staring down at the boat in all its order till I felt something nudge me in the rib cage. Turning my attention away from the boat I watched as Haymitch laid our bags, fishing poles, and other supplies out along the dock before jumping down onto the boat. "Are you just going to stand there all day sweetheart or are you going to lend me a hand?" "Sorry," I mumbled, "Yeah."

So as I handed our supplies to Haymitch I felt the dock shake causing me to lose my balance. Nevertheless as I thought I was going to fall over into the boat or possibly even into the bay I felt a pair of strong hands grab me by the waist. No longer swaying side to side I felt my body being pushed forward as a result of the jolty impact the pair of hands had on my stance when gripping me by the waist. Yet as I felt my body leaning forward, the hands pulled me back against a sculpted chest. "Woah there baby, nearly went overboard." I cringed at the familiarity of the voice. Its owner what was frightened me. Our last encounter hadn't been to my enjoyment. The voice belonged to none other than Cato, the one and only Cate Burns. Grinding my teeth I felt the dock shake again causing me to unsteadily shake. Yet as I shook, Cato's grip on my hips tightened pulling me closer as a voice came from over my shoulder.

"Haymitch," the deep voice spoke, "The drunk has finally stumbled out of his bottle." I squirmed at this statement wanting to turn and punch the bastard who dared speak to Haymitch like that. However while I squirmed to free myself from Cato's grasp I watched as Haymitch stand tall looking to who stood behind me. "Brutus Burns," Haymitch stated. Burns… as in a blood relative to Cato Burns. Hastily turning my head to look over at the man who Haymitch was talking to I saw a tall board shoulder man. He was an exact replica of Cato with the exception of being older. They had the same piercing blue eyes and spiked blond crew-cut. It was a frightening sight. "I see you brought junior along with you," Haymitch nodded at Cato, "Hoping to do better than last year Brutus? But you know just cause there are two of you, you may be twice as smart but you'll still be stupid."

Wow, I thought, did Haymitch just insult the Burns? Damn, Haymitch was sharp. Smiling at Haymitch's comeback I watched as Brutus's face flared with anger. "Now let's not get temperamental Brutus," Haymitch teased, "Even if it's that time of the month." Doing my best to hold back the urge to laugh Haymitch cracked a smile. "Now let go of sweetheart boy," Haymitch said looking at Cato, "Unless you had something say." Looking up at Cato, he swallowed hard shaking his head before releasing his grip from my waist. Turning to see Cato standing there as if he was petrified and Brutus fuming I slapped my hand over my mouth in an attempt to hold back my laughter before climbing onto the boat. Then as Haymitch untied the boat from the dock he twisted the key reviving the engine to life. And then in no time Cato and Brutus were far behind us as we drove through the back bays out through the inlet before finally making out way out to sea.

…

The sea was flat, dead in a way. The sun was shining bright. The breeze was cool. The temperature was just right. And overall everything was going well. Haymitch and I had been fishing for a few hours now. We had "maxed out" as Haymitch had put it. So now as a result whatever we caught we had to throw back or else the Coast Guard would fine Haymitch. I had asked him what was the big deal was about with keeping one extra fish, but that seemed to get Haymitch's boxers in a bunch. So I quickly shut my mouth assuming something had happened in the past with him and keeping more fish than supposed to that wasn't one of his fondest memories to get him so prissy. It was at that point that I realized he had been drinking the same bottle of beer he had been drinking when we first got out here. I couldn't help but think if he was straining himself from drinking in hopes to seem like a good role model or if he had been sobering up for a while now. There had been fewer bottles sitting on the kitchen counter lately… maybe he had been sobering up.

Setting down my fishing pole in one of the holders I pulled my knees to my chest. "Haymitch," I said in a low tone. Seeing him turn his attention to me I was surprised he even heard me speak. "What is it sweetheart?" Looking out to the horizon and then back at him a hugged my knees, "Who's Maysilee?" At the sound of the name his body stiffened. "May was my girl." May? His girl? Was this the May dad talked of? "Was she the one dad talked about?" Haymitch nodded, "Yeah that was Maysilee." "What happened to her," I asked. Haymitch shook his head looking out to the sea. There was a moment of silence before he set his fishing pole in one of the holders and came to sit beside me. "She killed herself," he said in a low whisper, "It was during the time your dad was in the hospital. Her family's home caught on fire. Some faulty wiring or something caused it... Her parents and little brother, her only family, died in the fire... It hit her hard. We, I tried to help her." I looked to him now to see tear being to well up.

"I couldn't though," he paused, "It was about two months after the fire had taken her family that she swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He wiped away a few tears that had spilled other onto his cheek. "I found her… I was on my way to see your dad in the hospital and… I knew she was bad, that she wasn't doing well, but I didn't know it had become _that_ bad…" He stopped there and we sat there in silence for what could have been forever. I don't know why but the words seemed to slip out between my lips breaking the silence. "I miss them." Haymitch let out a breath as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "They were just too damn good for this world." I smiled, "What do you think they're doing?" "They're watching over us I bet you," he said after a long silence, "May is probably scolding for me becoming a drunk." I laughed, "I bet dads pissed off that isn't out here fishing… he always use to talk about the good times you guys had fishing." Haymitch laughed, "And that little sister of yours is probably gushing over that boy of yours." Playfully punching Haymitch in the gut he hugged me tight. "I miss them too sweetheart, I miss them too."

…

Back at the docks we finished packing and cleaning up the boat just before the sun had set. It was just after the sun had just gone down and most of the fishers had disappeared from the docks that Haymitch had left to weigh in our catch leaving me to transport the coolers and fishing poles back to his truck. I hadn't realized it was such a pain to carry a backpack, a cooler and a few fishing poles. But as I made my way up the dock ramp I felt myself losing my balance as a result of the weight. And as I thought I was going to face plant onto the ground Mr. Mellark appeared taking the cooler from my hands. "Easy there," he said as I grabbed the ramp's railing for stability, "You okay?" I nodded my head, "Thank you." "No problem, are you putting this stuff in Haymitch's car?" I nodded my head. "Okay then, come on." And with that we made our away to Hayitch's jeep.

Once finding Haymitch's car I climbed into the back as Mr. Mellark handed me the cooler, the fishing poles, and the few other supplies we had carried back from boat. It was when I jumped out of the jeep, ready to go find Haymitch that Mr. Mellark said seven words I would have never thought I would have heard him say. They were at random and blunt. They were words that could not be mistaken or misspoken. But they were words that were a forced truth. He couldn't look me in the eye when speaking them. What took me by such surprise was when he said, "I'm sorry my wife is a bitch." I nearly fell over, "Excuse me sir?" "Eric actually," Mr. Mellark said nonchalantly, "You can call me Eric, Finnick has been doing it since he could talk. And you heard me correctly." I didn't know what to say or do and yet I found myself obnoxiously nodding in agreement. Seeing my in all my stupidity, Mr. Mellark, Eric let out a laugh much like Peeta's. "Let's go find Haymitch; they should be announcing the tournament winners soon."

So we found our way back to the docks where the contestants of the tournament had gather around a slightly elevated podium. We found Haymitch standing beside Marcus in the right back side of the group. At our entrance Haymitch gave me a nod and Marcus whispered, "Haymitch's group is coming up next." I nodded my head and turned my attention to the front of the group as a man holding a golden trophy was smiling with pride as a few pictures were taken. A minute passed before the pictures ceased and the man behind the podium began to speak. "The award for the largest bluefish goes to," the man behind the podium said taking a long pause. Dammit, I thought, way to draw it out bastard. Marcus and Eric looked eagerly toward the man as Haymitch ran his right hand through his hair. And then without thinking I took Haymitch's left hand into my right giving him a reassuring squeeze.

He looked down at me with a strange expression and all I could do was look up at him with a hopeful smile. He left out a breath and gave me a worried smiled in return. Then he quickly turned his attention to the man behind the podium. "And the award does to Haymitch Abernathy." Haymitch won, Haymitch won. The crowd broke into an applauds. Eric nudged Haymitch with his elbow and Marcus slapped him on the back. Then as he walked toward the podium I proceeded to go with him as he seemed to refuse to let go of my hand. At the podium the man's shirt that read _Plutarch Heavensbee_ handed Haymitch a golden trophy like the man before. Haymitch handed me the trophy as he shook Plutarch thanking him. The next thing I knew Haymitch had his arm wrapped around my shoulder posing for a picture. There was a _snap_ and a flash and the crowd broke into another applauds. Haymitch leaned over kissing the top of my head whispering, "Couldn't have done it without you sweetheart."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The Sleep

…

"Dammit," Peeta murmured through his teeth as Finnick sat him down on the couch, "I am never playing football with you guys ever again." Finnick let out a stiff laugh, "Sorry man." Peeta had torn some ligament in his knee. We had been playing football on the beach, Peeta, Annie, and Foxface versus Finnick, Marvel, and I. It was when Annie threw the football to Peeta that Marvel came up from the side tackling him. They went down hard. Yet it wasn't till we saw that Peeta couldn't stand without help that we realized something was wrong. So we took him to Faxface's mother, the town physician, who after poking and prodding at his leg said he tore some ligament in his knee. The tear wasn't bad, he didn't need surgery, but it resulted in him having to use crunches for the next two-plus weeks.

So here we were back at Haymitch's. Plopping down on the couch beside Peeta I pulled my knees to my chest. "What now?" Peeta leaned his head back on the couch cushion as Annie sat down beside Finnick on the living room floor. "Lazy day," Annie said after a few minute of fiddling with her newly dyed burgundy hair, "Movies and crap food." Finnick let out a dramatic gasp, "Did Annie Cresta, the one and only _health freak,_ suggest a day of eating _crap_ food and _lying_ around watching movies? A day of _laziness_? Is the world coming to an end?" Finnick through his hands up in the air dramatically. "What is going on?!" Peeta let out a childish laugh at Finnick's act as Annie slapped her hand across Finnick's shoulder. "Shut it," Annie mumbled hiding her face in Finnick's chest, "Just turn on a damn movie and get me some cheese doodles."

…

Hearing the generic beeping of someone's cell phone I let out a moan. "Crap," I heard a familiar voice say. The voice was masculine and soft and there a certain way in which the curse rolled off the tongue that made me think it was a pretentious tease. Finnick, my mind shouted, the voice belonged to Finnick. "Annie we gotta go." There was some rustling and movement before I heard the voice again. This time it was closer, more direct. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." "Oh god," a voice said, Annie's, "Haymitch is right down the hall." Finnick let out snort, "That didn't stop us-" Then another voice butted in. it was soft and kind, it was no doubt Peeta's, "And that's how you got caught my Jo, Finnick. Plus I don't think were there yet. And this is perfectly fine with me. I want to do this the right way." Finnick let out another snort, "Man, where did your ba-" _Slap_. "Shit Annie that hurt." "Good it was meant to," there was a pause, "And don't listen to him Peeta. Be yourself."

…

"Hey, boy," a gruff voice said. Haymitch? "I'm trusting you here, no funny business. I'm going to Chaff's for poker night. She has everyone's number who will be there in her cell phone and I'm sure you got a few of the guys' numbers so if something happens, anything at all you call. I don't give a shit if she gets a paper cut, you call me. Understand?" I could feel Peeta nodding his head. Was I laying on him? Maybe I was lying next to him. But wait, was that assonance thumping his heart? Possible, maybe, yes. Maybe I was lying on top of him or my head was resting on his chest. And wait, how long had I been asleep? I thought poker night was on Wednesday night and I'm pretty sure today was Friday night. I let out an internal groan, none of this was making sense, I was overthinking the entire thing. "Yes sir." "And no funny business boy or else I'll cut off your balls," Haymitch threatened.

…

_I stood on the corner street. It was raining, pouring. And then I heard it. The screeching of brakes. I whipped my head in the direction of the noise. And then I watched as the speeding pickup truck crashed into the wagon. The windows shattered and the wagon flipped. It was still raining. The truck, the wagon, the rain, the noise. The incident. No. no. no. I knew this corner, I seen that truck, I was meant to be in that wagon. Prim. I jumped off the side walk sprinting toward the wagon. It's raining. I slow as I reach the passenger side of the car. Prim. The window is broken. Prim. It's pouring. Prim Climbing up I look into the car. Prim. The passenger door was crushed in. Prim. The rain id pounding down making it nearly impossible to see. Prim. I see her. She is leaning over the shifter. Her clothes are soaked. There is something in her side. She is bleeding. I look to her face. Her eyes are open. Her face is pale. Her chest isn't rising. She isn't breathing. She's dead. _

"Katniss," I hear a voice screaming at me, "Open your eyes, dammit. Katniss. Wake up!" My eyes flicker open to see Peeta standing above me with a worried expression. My throat is sore and chest heaving. May hair is sticking to the back of my neck and tears stream down my cheeks. The nightmares. I feel myself cry harder at the thought of them. Peeta immediately sit down on the couch scooping me up into his lap. I haven't had them in so long and now they're back. Peeta begins to rub circles along my back trying to calm me. I cry hard placing my face in the nook between his neck and shoulder. Peeta murmurs soothing words trying to calm me. In time my crying ceases but I can still feel my chest heaving. It is as if I unable to catch my breath. It is as if I have forgotten how to breathe. Breathe I remind myself. Breathe. In. Out. Good. Repeat. Breathe. In. Out.

Peeta pulls away from me just enough to see my face. Looking me over he ask, "What happened Katniss?" Unable to me his eyes, I mumble, "The nightmares." I had only told Peeta about them once. It was after my panic attack I had at the pier, but since then I haven't mentioned them. Since them they had begun to leave my mind. "Of Prim?" I nodded my head, always of Prim. Sometimes I had them of my father, but Prim was always there. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head no. I never wanted to talk about them. Even back at the hospital I never talked about them. "Okay," he said with unease, "Do you want something to eat?" I shook my head. "Do you want to go out?" I shook my head. "What do you want to do?" There was a long pause before I responded, "Sleep." He nodded his head as he grabbed his crutches to get up. "No," I said in protest. "Stay, please." He looked at me. Please, I thought, please please stay.

He then nodded his head placing his crutches back on the ground before lying down on the couch beside me. As he lay along the back of the couch I turned to face him. He wrapped his armed around my waist and pulled me close. Resting my head on top of his chest I could hear his heartbeat. As I listen to its thumping I couldn't help but smile. It was beautiful. And as I listened to his heart he played with the tip of my braid. We stayed like this for a while before I felt my eyes being to unwilling close. "Thank you," I mumbled against his shirt, "for staying." He hugged me tighter, "As long as you want me I'll always stay." Always? It was an intriguing and welcome promise. "Always," I said, "I like the sound of that." He let out a laugh, "I like it too." Kissing me on the forehead in tangled my fingers with his. And as I felt myself drifting off I hear his whisper, "Always."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The Confession

…

Peeta asked me to out to dinner tonight at the bakery. He said he was cooking. He said he had something _very_ important to tell me. It seemed to have some great significance to him. He couldn't help but run his hands through his hair and down the back of his neck when asking me out. He even started to stutter at one point. I couldn't help but worry. Peeta was nervous. Peeta was never nervous. Something was up. There just had to be. And whatever it was had concerned me. I couldn't help but think of whatever it was. Whatever it was it was causing me to grow anxious and scared. All I wanted to know was what the hell was so important that he had to tell me over a home cooked meal. It was driving me insane. This damn surprise was sure to be the death of me. Surprises weren't my thing. I hated surprises.

Falling back onto my bed in frustration I looked at my cell phone to see I had less than an hour to get ready. Fuck me. Internally groaning I pulled myself off the bed. Okay, I thought to myself, you have to wear something nice. This dinner was important… special even. I was to wear something nice, not too laid back, but not too dressy. I had to look casual. Scanning my clothing rack I pulled off my favorite black denim jeans that had tears running along the front, the beige "knit shawl cardigan" I had found with Cashmere at the local thrift shop, and a black, laced tank top. So stripping out of my sweats and tee I had slept in the day before I quickly dressed in the cloths I had pulled from the rack. Then rebraiding my hair I slipped on the gray lace up sneaker I had also found with Cashmere at the local thrift shop that she had said were "seamlessly adorable."

Out my room and into the main house I spotted Haymitch sitting at the kitchen counter eating an early dinner. Swallowing the piece of sandwich he had just bitten he said, "Hey sweetheart." "Hey." Then it hit me that something was different. Seeming as if something was off I looked around the kitchen. There were no beer cans or whisky bottles, but in front of Haymitch sat a glass of water. Looking to him concerned I asked, "Are you sober, Haymitch?" "Finally noticed sweetheart," he said with a laugh, "Have been for about two weeks now." Shit. Two weeks. No beer. No whisky. No vodka. No alcohol. No liquor. Wow. And then I realized it was all for me. He sobered up for me. All these weeks and months of slowing cutting down on his drinking. All for me. Me. Walking up beside him I kissed him on the cheek as I pulled him into a hug. "Thank you," I barely whispered.

Haymitch smiled against my neck. "Anything for you sweetheart." Pulling away I repeated another thank you as I wiped away a few tears that had escaped my eyes with the back of my hand. "It was nothing," he said with an uneasy laugh, "It's about time somebody whooped my ass back into shape." I let out a laugh. God, I thought, Haymitch still had his wits sober. Unable to control myself from smiling Haymitch lifted my bag off the counter handing it to me. "Oh yeah, Miss Annie Cresta called me herself today to informed me that you have a hot date tonight," he said with a smirk, "And if you do not get there on time she told me herself she will "flip shit on your sorry ass."" Letting out another laugh, Haymitch kissed me on the forehead. "Get out of here kid."

…

Behind the bakery I parked my bike beside the back door. Here we go, I think. Stepping off my motorcycle I wiped the dirt off my jean before I entered the bakery to see Rye and Marcus cleaning up the kitchen. Looking up from the sink where he was cleaning a mixing bowls and some measuring cups Marcus gave me a smile. "Hey," he said. I nodded my head as I walked toward the center to the room. Flower covered the floor as ingredients and mixing bowls were spread out across the tables. "Busy day," I asked. Rye let out a loud groan mumbling something along the lines of "you don't even know what busy is" while Marcus let out a rough laugh. "Yeah, it's been busy," he said, "And having Peeta not able to move around that much doesn't help the cause really." Oh right, I thought, Peeta's leg was taking longer to heal that expected so he still had to use his crutches for another week or two.

Nodding my head in stupidity Marcus fell silent and the kitchen was overcome by an awkward silence. Way to go Katniss, I thought, just when I thought I was getting good that being social and shit I fall back into my old habits. I had been doing that often, resulting back to old habits and even making new ones like biting my nails. This date was really getting at me and I hadn't even gone on it yet. When asking Annie if you knew anything of Peeta's plans she just gave me a devious smile and said I would have to wait to see. Wait to see? What the hell did that mean? Hearing the clattering of pans I snapped out of my trance turning to see Rye dropping a stack of pans and mixing bowls into the sink. He let out an over dramatic cough Rye coughed or poorly spoke in-between coughs, "Peeta's out front." "Thanks Rye," I said with a smile. Then I pushed on the swinging door that lead to the front of the bakery.

There in the front of the bakery sat Peeta on the bakery's old, worn leather couch across from the oak coffee table. He wore jeans a blue polo that brightened his eyes. Giving him a small smile I set my bag on the counter before climbing over to the other side. On the over side I walked over to the couch taking the open spot beside him. "Hey," I said giving him a kiss. "Hey," he responded with a grin as he leaned in for another kiss. After a minute or possibly longer we broke apart. Stretching out I placed my feet of the edge of the coffee table allowing me to scoot closer to Peeta. "Let's get this torture over with." He laughed. "Torture? Ouch, I'm insulted. I didn't know dating me was a form of torture." I nudged him with my elbow, "Hey, you ask me out over a week ago to go on a date that's very important for a reason that I do not use. Excuse me if my mental state has been effect through the torture of waiting to find out this 'importance.'"

He let out a nervous laugh running his hand along the back of his neck. Shit, I thought, this was serious. "Sorry about that." I nodded my head, "Well at least it'll be over soon." He let out another nervous laugh. "Okay… well what do you want to go first… eat chicken, cheese and spinach Panini with cheese buns or I can tell you what's so important." "Ah… as intriguing as those cheese buns sound I'm going to have to side with this great importance." "Are you sure," he question. "Yeah," I replied confidently even though inside I was scared as hell, "Of course." "Okay," he mumbled as he sat up straight on the couch turning towards me. He ran his hands along his pants dismissing its wrinkles and lines. This isn't looking good, I thought as I watched Peeta shake in apprehension. As he ran his hand through the hair on the back of his neck I sat up straight becoming nervous myself, even more than before. "Peeta you-" I began telling him he didn't have to but he cut me off. "Katniss," he said taking a deep breathe, "I love you."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The Reaction

…

"You don't have to say anything back," he says quickly nearly stuttering, "I don't expect you to. I just- I just thought you should know. And I know we haven't been together long…" He continues to talk but the words don't reach my ears. Peeta loves me. Peeta Mellark loves me. Oh shit. Peeta just told me he loves me. Oh god. This can't be happening. No. God no. Feeling a rush of memories my mind spins... _"Love you," mom says as dad kisses her on the check. "Love you, too," he replied slinging his backpack over his shoulder before pushing open the front door._ I ran my hand through my hair. _Prim ran into mom's arms jumping with joy. She had just graduated from kindergarten. Laughing my mom kissed her on the forehead, "Congratulations honey." My dad smiled proudly as he scooped her up into his arms resting her on his hips. "That my girl," my dad said kissing her on the cheek. Then wrapping his arm around my shoulder he pulled me to his side, "Love you, girls."_

The memories flooded my mind, pounding against my skull. Feeling tears begin to prickle at the brim of my eyelids I squeezed my eyes shut taking a few deep breathes. Trying to steady my breathing I felt something touch my arm. I jerked away from the touch pulling myself off the couch and onto my feet. "Katniss," Peeta question. Opening my eyes I saw him sitting on the couch watching me with a worried expression. Love kills. Everyone I ever loved gone. And everyone that had loved me had left me. Feeling tears begin to cascade down my cheeks Peeta stood up. Using his crutches to step toward I put my hand out forward stopping him. "Katniss?" I shook my head. "No," I mumbled unable to constellate my thoughts, "No… I can't… you don't… I have… this doesn't… no…" Stepping toward me I backed up till my back was up against the counter. "Katniss," he pleaded. But I couldn't. No.

Turning away I found myself on the other side of the counter pushing against the kitchen door. As I stumbled into the kitchen Marcus's and Rye's fell on me. Hugging my arms close to my chest I bowed my head as if I was trying to hide myself in a crowd. Yet knowing as it was no use I quickly made my way to the backdoor till I felt someone grip my upper arm. Coming to a halt I looked up to see Marcus standing in front of me and Rye looking over his shoulder. "Katniss," Marcus began but I cut him off shaking my head. "No," I managed to speak wiping away my tears with the back of my hand, "I have to go… please." As I continued to cry I could feel myself begin to shake. It was as if any second now I was going to crumble down onto the floor. Yet it was just when I through I was going to fall apart that Rye spoke. "Let her go Marcus." Looking to him for a second Marcus nodded his head before letting go of my arm. It was then as I reached the back door that I mumbled, "Sorry."

…

Stuffing the rest on my clothes into my duffle bag I looked around the room. There was not much left that was mine. Everything that remained had been here when I came. Wiping away a few tears I slung my bag over my shoulder and exited the room. Strapping my bag to my motorcycle I looked around. Haymitch wasn't back from Chaff's yet. I was kind of happy about this. I don't think I would be able to explain to him why I was going. I just had to. I had left them a note of the sort at least telling him I was gone and that I was sorry. I had found a post-it in the desk in Haymitch's office. Taking a pen I scribbled a few words. _I'm sorry. Really am. But I had to. I love you._ I stuck it to the photo of us at the fishing tournament. I was smiling along with Haymitch as he had his arm wrapped around my shoulder. Mr. Mellark had got it from one of the reports that day and gave it to us along with the tournament article mentioning us as one of the winners. And I left it on the counter where he would see it. Wiping away more tears with the back of my hand I shook my head. I had to go. And with that I got on my motorcycle only looking around at what I was leaving one more time before reviving the engine to life.

…

It was raining, not a pouring rain nor light drizzle but just a constant rain. I could feel myself shivering as a result from sitting in the cold rain for so long but the thing was I was not cold. I wasn't anything really. I just was. I was emotionally drained as one would say. And I didn't care. So much had happened in the last day, less than a day even. It was hours ago that Peeta had confessed his love to me. And that's when it all began… or ended. I broke, crumbled… just fell apart in general. His confession was too much, unexpected. But… I don't know. I don't think I had a but or an excuse. I just didn't know how to handle so I packed my bags and ran. At first I did not know where I was running to but I found myself here, Seam, Michigan. I went home or what I use to call home. I didn't know where home was anymore. I was so lost. Shaking my head I leaned my head against the back wall of the Hob.

The Hob, it was the only place I could think of to go when I got here. It was where I worked nights or early mornings depending on the day of the week. It was where Greasy Sae made me lamb stew when my days weren't so fantastic. It was where Thom would furiously flirt with me when calling out my table orders through the kitchen service window. It was where I spent my nights in the loft above the restaurant when I was too drunk or too tired to go home. It was where we would make prank phone calls to Angelo's Pizzeria down the street when the days were slow. It was where Madge and I would go for lunch when we would skip out on our last period gym class on D-Days. It was my last resort. That's probably why I found myself here and I had been sitting here for god knows how long, hours on end. Shutting my eyes I wrapped my arms around my waist.

…

Feeling a pair of arms sneak around my back and under my knees I was scooped up off the ground as a voice said, "Dammit girl. Get her to the back. Sit her by the stove and get a blanket. Food, too." Hearing the creaking of a door opening and closing the set of silent footsteps carried me through another set of doors and around numerous objects before sitting me down. Then they left only to return moments wrapping me in a warm blanket. I heard a view clicks and then the hands that had scooped me up were running up and down my arms trying to warm me up. "Hey," a normally playful voice, "You in there Katniss?" Opening my eyes I came face to face with Thom Wilson. Six eight, bright green eyes and spiky brunet hair Thom Wilson. Letting out a soft chuckle I tilted my head to the right shaking it no. "You cold?" I let out a childish laugh. Like my heart I wanted to ask but couldn't find the words. "You hungry?" I shook my head. I was hallow. "You drunk?" I let out another laugh, I could answer that. "I'm fucked up."

…

"Catnip," Gale says as he sits next to me against the headboard of the bed in the loft above the Hob, "I have been informed someone has a bun in the oven." I said nothing but continued to intertwine my fingers together as I stared out the window. "Katniss," he said this time using my birth name to tell me he was being serious, "Did he knock you up?" This caught my attention. Did Gale seriously think I was pregnant? He should have known from all our talks that I never wanted kids. But in those talks I always said I never wanted to be in a relationship really either. That wasn't true anymore more I had been in a sort-a-relationship with Gale and a serious one with Peeta, so serious that he had told me he loved me. Maybe that's why Gale thought I was knocked up. I had changed. I took in a deep breathe knowing I had to tell Gale why I was here.

"I'm not pregnant." "Then what," he asked, "What happened Katniss?" "He told me her loved me Gale," I said drawing my knees to my chest, "And it just snapped me. I broke. I just couldn't do it anymore… Everything with dad and Prim and mom I just couldn't go through that again. Everyone I've loved is gone. I… I…" I struggled through fetch thoughts that I couldn't fathom through. Luckily it wasn't till I had repeated the word "deal" one too many times that Gale cut me off. "You love me and I'm still here." I nodded that was true, but that was also different. "I love you like a brother and Prim like a sister and dad like a father… it was common, familiar love… but Peeta… what I feel for him it's not the same, it makes my stomach twist and heart flutter… and it scares the shit out of me Gale, and… and I just… just ran." Gale doesn't speak, but pulls me into a hug allowing me to cry tears I hadn't known I had allowed escape my eyes into the crook of his neck.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The Hob

…

Today was the last day of summer. It had been a little more than three weeks since I left Naval Cove. It's been getting "easier" to say dealing with not being there but it still hurt. I missed so many things, but I was still so lost. I continued to play that moment between Peeta and the day I left, the day he told me he loved me over and over in my head thinking about the numerous other ways it could have turned out. I could have told him I wasn't sure how I felt but the something I felt was along those lines of love. I could have told him that I liked him _very_ much, but I wasn't sure if it was love. I could have just given him a heartfelt smile and then kissed him. Hell, I could have told him I loved him too. It wouldn't be a lie really, after much thought and long talks with Sea I think I might love Peeta. There's a possibility I do but I don't know… and I that's why I concluded that I ran away. I feared loving or being loved so much that I was so oblivious to my own feelings that I was left a mess.

So here I was trying to get my life together, trying to get my act together, sort out my feelings for Peeta. It didn't help with all the calls and text I had received. The first week was the worse. I received sixty-seven calls from Haymitch, eighty-two text from Peeta along with fifty-nine calls, and a hundred-some-plus messages from Finnick, Annie, Marvel, and the twins. I kept my phone off for the most part that week because every time it rang or vibrated I was so tempted to answer… but I couldn't, I couldn't do that to myself. The second and most of the third week that followed was barely any better. I had just as many calls and texts as the first, but then it began to decrease. It was at the beginning of this week that the calls and text took a dramatic decline. But today was the last of them. I hadn't received anything from anyone in the last twenty-four hours. It was then just minutes ago that I had received a text message from Peeta. It was the first message I had opened from him since I had left. It said, "_Always_."

…

I had switched the sign on the front door a couple of hours ago from _Open_ to _Sorry We're Closed_. We had closed early today because Sea had gone to her daughter's home to babysit her granddaughter while her daughter and son-in-law spent a night out on the town. And with the perks of having the night off, Thom had gone to George Brando's annual end of the summer party which I had passed on as I wasn't in the mood for getting myself caught up in a wet t-shirt contest or a bad game of drunken beer pong. I on the other hand had decided to spend the night in. I was standing beside the stove in the back of the kitchen of the Hob cooking dinner. As I flipped my grill cheese there was a loud pounding on the front door. Letting at groan I turned off the stove and shuffled through the kitchen to the front door to tell Thom he could not crash on the loft floor again not after finding out he was a snorer. Turning the lock and twisting the doorknob I pulled the door open. And there stood a lean yet muscular frame with spiked bronze hair that suited his sea green eyes well and had a smile that could cause any girl to just drop their pants, there stood Finnick Odiar.

…

Five beers and three grill cheeses Finnick finally spoke. "How's life going Kitty?" I let out a snort as I swiped his plate off the counter to clean it off in the hand sink behind the counter. "Bullshit," I said taking a swig of my beer, "You didn't come here to ask me about how my life is going. I'm not stupid. So _Finn_, why are you here?" He shook his as he leaned back in his chair cradling his beer in his lap. "Are you ever coming back?" I looked down. "I don't know, Finnick," I said, "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." He nods before asking another question. "What happened?" What happened? Oh so much yet so little. But instead of saying that I set down my beer bottle before gripping the side of the counter for support as I look up at him. "He told me he loved me." Finnick let out a laugh taking a swig of his beer. "The kid finally grew some balls and dropped the L-Bomb on you?" I shoot him a look that could kill which he seems to pick up that I don't find this to be a funny matter.

"Oh," he said earnestly leaning forward so he could rest his elbows on the counter, "Do you love him?" I didn't know; hell I didn't even know what that kind of love, romantic love, felt like. "Do you love Annie?" He smiled, "Of course I do." "What does it feel like?" This time he smiled at me as if I had just made his day. "She's my everything, Katniss," he said, "I just… when I look at her my feel like I have butterflies in my stomach and my breathe is taken away. I feel jumpy and my palms sweat from getting so nervous around her. She makes everything bad good and everything good even better... Nothing else, no one else matters but her. I'd do anything for her. I'd leave her even if she wanted. God knows it would kill me but I'd do it if she asked… Her laughter is beautiful and her smile is indescribable. She is perfect in every way imaginable. Even her flaws are perfect. Everything wrong about her is right… She makes me whole. She makes me feel complete. She's my better half, my life."

I smiled proudly at Finnick. I never knew something like that could ever be felt and especially with a guy like Finnick. Finnick was Mister Cool and that… that was love. That was love. Yet interrupting me in my thoughts he asked, "Is that how you feel about with Peeta?" With Peeta everything in my world was flipped upside down. He was perfect. He made me happy and made me laugh. He brought out the best of me. He was a perfect gentleman to me no matter what. He could hug me and I'd feel safe. He could kiss me and I'd feel like I was the only girl in the world that mattered. He never pushed and was always honest. He liked me for who I was. He made me nervous and scared and warm inside all at the same time and I didn't care. He knew how I liked my tea and how to cheer me up when I was down. He stood by my side and always stayed when I asked. His smile was contagious and eyes were something I could find myself getting lost in. He brightened my days always just by the thought of him. He knew exactly what to say especially when I didn't. He didn't run when I had one of my panic attacks or melt downs. He was gorgeous inside and out. He was too good to be with me, but he didn't seem to care. He was my other half, he was my one.

Looking up at Finnick I nodded my head. "That plus some." Finnick's face erupted in a wide smile. "Well then what the hell are we still doing here," he said standing up from his stool and grabbing his jacket off the counter, "Let's go Kitty." I started to make my way around the counter till I came about ten feet from the door and abruptly stopped. Finnick looked to me with a confused yet astonish expression. "Katniss, come on," he said, "We gotta get you back to Navel Hove by three tomorrow before Peeta leaves. You can't let him leave till he knows you love him. He has to know, you can't keep this to yourself. He's been dying without you, he needs to know and you need to tell him." I stood planted. "Come on," he said taking my wrist in his hand and giving it a slight tug. It wasn't till he gave me another tug after seeing that I wasn't moving that I pulled back. "Katniss?" Looking to him I shook my head. "I can't leave yet Finn, I just can't. I have some things I still have some things I have to take care of, some people I need to see and make amends with."

He looked at he like he did the first time we had met. He was judging me. Looking me up and down he nodded his head before slipping on his jacket. "Okay," he said, "I won't push you or force you to go but you have to promise me you'll see him? That you'll tell him? You do what you have to, but don't take so much time okay? I know they say love waits but don't make it. Love can grow weary and irritated you know?" I let out a soft laugh. "I promise. I promise to not take too much time but just enough. I promise to go see him. And I promise to tell him I love him." Finnick smiled. "Good girl," he said with a laugh, "Or else sooner or later Marcus and Rye will be showing up here and god knows that won't go over to pretty." I let out another laugh, "Oh god not the twins." He smiled at my comment. "A hug for the road?" I nodded my head wrapping my arms around his waist as he wrapper his around mind. "I hope to see you soon, Kitty." I smiled against his shirt, "Tell Annie hi and that I'm sorry that I left without a good old fashion farewell."

Refusing to let go we stood there in silken till I asked, "Do you have to go?" He nodded his head against my neck, "I have to pack. My flight leaves the day after tomorrow." "Oh." "Yeah," he said, "But just because I'm going out to the west coast doesn't mean I won't be keeping tabs on you. Remember I have my sources so if you don't keep your promises so-help-me-god I will fly right back out her and whip your ass." I whispered a series of _I will_'s after a fit laughter remembering all of Annie's ass-whipping threats. After some time Finnick finally let go of me. Then fishing through his pocket he found his keys and wallet. "Cya," he said as he walked toward the front door. I murmured a goodbye that I'm sure he did not hear as the jingling of the restaurant door bell rung as the words escaped my lips signaling to me that he was gone. Taking a deep breathe I locked the door before returning to my spot behind the counter. As I finished off my beer and cleaned the dished I found myself looking at Peeta's text message that I had received earlier in the day. Always.

Unable to control myself from smiling with joy I trudged up that stairs and into the loft. Even though it was nearing five o'clock in the morning and I still haven't slept yet I don't bother to go to sleep, but instead I grabbed a blanket off the bed and went to go sit on the windowsill. Wrapping myself in the blanket I sat down on the sill. Looking out the sun was beginning to rise. It was like the sunset but backwards. The sky was slowing going from a lenient grayish purple into an easy-going hot pink followed by a soft yellowish orange to finally a sky blue color of any normal morning sky with scattered clouds. Smiling with pleasure rays of sun shined through the window filling me warmth. It all reminded me of Peeta, the boy who loved me. Snuggling further into the blanket I leaned against the sill. Then closing my eyes I let a blissful smirk form across my lips. Letting out a breath in exaction I whispered to _him_ in hopes he could hear me, "Always."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The Reunion

…

You can do this Katniss, I tell myself. This was the first of three stops I promised myself I would take before going to go see Peeta, to tell him I love him. First, here, the Hawthorne's. Second, the cemetery, dad and Prim. Third, Naval Cove, Haymitch. I had to make my amends. Taking a deep breath I shifted off my motorcycle and walked to the front door of the Hawthorne's home. You can do this Katniss, I tell myself again, just bring your hand up and knock on the door. However before I could even raise my hand to knock on the door it swung up revealing a small, petite dark haired girl with big, brown eyes, Posy Hawthorne. "Katniss," she cried wrapping her arms around my waist so tight her head pressed against my stomach. I hugged her back, ruffling her hair. "Hey cutie," I said, "Long time no see." She pulled her head away from my stomach, "I missed you, Katniss." I pulled her tight against me. "Oh I missed you too, Posy." She gave me a smile as she pulled away from our hug and took my hand in hers giving me a tug. "Com'on then," she said, "the boys and Mom have missed you too."

So through the door and down the hall Posy lead me into the living room of the Hawthorne's home. It was there in the living that two familiar looking boys sat. Looking at the boys a second time I questioned myself how I could forget them, they were nearly exact replicas of their older brother, Gale Hawthorne. It was there on the couch sat Rory Williams Hawthorne who was teasingly dangling the TV remote over his brother's, Victor Hawthorne's, head. As I watched them goof off I nearly forgot how childlike they were. Rory was Prim's age and Vick was just a few years younger. Children. Yet shaking the thought from my head I shouted, "Hey!" Immediately stopping they looked up at me. It was then Vick popped off the couch and ran into me wrapping his arms around my waist as Posy had done. "Hey," I said hugging him back. "I missed you." I pulled away to see his face. He looked sad. Giving him a smile I said, "I missed you." He gave me one last squeeze before letting me go.

It was when I looked up that I came face to face with Rory. God he had grown since the last time I saw him, he probably had an inch or two on me now. I couldn't help but smile at the face. I couldn't help but remember the times I had spent my free periods sometimes with Rory in study hall, how I always snuck us peanut butter sandwiches in from the cafeteria and how he always asked about Prim. He always asked about Prim, I didn't realize that he liked her not till a few days before the accident. Prim had told me they had kissed bleachers in the gym and that the next Friday night he had asked her on a date. That was when I realized by the look in her eyes that she loved him too. Looking at him now I could feel the tears begin to prickle at my eyes. Stepping forward I pulled him into a tight hug. "I loved her, you know," he said. "I know," I said feeling a few tears escape my eye, "I know you loved her, you loved her so much. She loved you too; she was so excited about the date and the kiss. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He held me while I cried and after a few moments he pulled away wiping away my tears. "Com'on," he said, "Moms making dinner."

…

Several hours later the dining room table had been cleared and things had calmed down. Rory and I had put Posy to bed not too long ago and by the looks of it Vick had fallen asleep watching TV. The rest of us were now in the kitchen. Hazel was finishing up washing the dishes from dinner in the sink and having Gale dry them while Rory and I sat on the countertop island in the middle of the kitchen. Handing the last dish to Gale Hazel turned away from the dish to face me. "So how have you've been, Katniss?" Knotting my fingers together I looked at her, "I've been good." Hazel's eye flicker up at me. Liar, they shout at me. "Katniss I know you're lying, you're an open book dear," she smiles, "So honestly, how have you've been?" I take a deep breath, "I have been as good as I can be. I've been… it's been manageable." She nods her head with nothing to say causing the room to fall silent.

"Are you going back," Gale ask after a bit. "Yeah," I reply nodding my head, "I'll probably be going in a few days. I got to do a few things first." Looking at me with questioning eyes he asked; "Is it because of him?" "Him," Hazel asked confused. "Peeta," Rory replied nonchalantly, "The boy that was calling Gale a few weeks ago." Understanding who we are talking about Hazel nods her head muttering something I did not catch as I shot the death glare at Gale. "He called!?" Gale nods his head, "He wanted to make sure you were okay." "And you didn't think it would have been nice to inform me of this," I nearly shout. "Yes! I did!" Gale says just as loud as me doing his best to hold his anger back, "But every time I tried I bring him up you adverted the subject! And so after a while I didn't bother anymore! And after a while he stopped calling!" The room fell silent again. As I think of it now, every time Gale had ever tried to mention Peeta I changed the subject. Even conversations that I could relate or connect with Peeta I would avoid. It was probably about days before Peeta's final text that he stopped calling, it made sense.

"Sorry," I mumble. He nods his head jumping up onto the counter beside me. "He's only part of the reason I'm going back you know? I got to tell him I love him, he deserves to know after all the shit I have put him through. But there are other reasons… Haymitch is there. And god knows he can be awful but he is all I got beside you. My friends are there, too: Finnick and Annie, Marcus and Rye, Marvel and Foxface. People talk to me there too instead of turning away to whisper to whomever is standing beside them about the girl with the dead father and sister and runaway mother; and if people do know about my past there, they don't care because there's nothing to say. I'm me and they seem to be very accepting of that. I'm just another person and I like that… I'm different there, too. I've got friends and go to parties and eat cold pizza at three on Tuesday mornings. Hell I even learned how to bake while filling in at the bakery and when to a nail salon to get a manicure and pedicure once. I don't know how to explain it; I know it sounds like a whole bunch of shit but… I have a life there, there I belong."

As I take in a deep breath that I had said what I had said I feel like I did after talking with Finnick. I tell overwhelmed and emotional and open. Continuing to take deep breaths I felt an arm sneak around my waist. Gale then pulls me close to his side and Rory rest his head on my shoulder. Somehow Gale's and my finger interlocked and my head leans in with Rory's. Hazel leaves at some point knowing that this moment is for us. This one moment had been overdue and well deserved. This was the moment where the broken were finally whole or somewhat whole. This was the moment where we showed us, who've we've become and who we were. And here we are: the boy who had loved and lost his lover, the girl who had unwillingly and unexpectedly fallen in love in her messed up world, and the boy who protected the ones he loved even if the love that was returned wasn't what he had wished for. And there we sat for who how knows long, but we captured that moment cause it was ours.

…

I left the Hawthorne's the next day. I had said my hellos and goodbyes and drank a cup of coffee and then I was gone. I took my motorcycle and drove it two blocks over to my family's house, the house I grew up in. I owned it now so I suppose it was my house. It was like I how owned the family pickup truck and my father's motorcycle and whatever money my parents and Prim's had in the bank account; they were all _mine_ but at the same time they weren't really. But none of it really mattered to me. Last Sunday I had traded in the pickup for five thousand, on Monday I had canceled my parents' and Prim's bank accounts after transferring their money to my account, and yesterday I had called up Caesar Flickerman at Flickerman Real Estate to put the house on the market. I had made sure that when I decided to leave Seam there were no loose ends. This didn't mean I wasn't going to return, I planned on returning at some point to visit my family and friends, but when I did leave to go see Peeta there was nothing here that I could use as an excuse to convince myself run away at the last minute.

Now as I walked up to the front steps of my old home I lifted up the _Welcome_ mat and used the spare key under it to open the front door. I placed the key back in its rightful spot under that mat before walking into the house. It looked the same as it did when I had left those months ago expect for a thin layer of dust that had begun to collect over the furniture and molding. Drawing a circle in the dust along the end table beside the front door I smiled like a child. Drawing two dots an turned the circle into a smiley face. Then beside it I wrote, _Sorry_. Still smiling I ventured further into the house. As I walked down the halls and through the rooms I not only spotted dust, but in some nooks and crannies spider webs. It didn't matter how much dust there was though or the number of spider webs because Caesars was having a cleaning company come over in a few days to clean up the place up.

That was why I was here really. I hadn't planned on coming here, but after listening to the voicemail he had left me on my cell phone I decided to come. He had told me to go through the house one more time before he sent over the cleaning company. He said he didn't want anything of importance to be jest talked away, but the sooner I collected all my belongings the sooner the place could be "wiped into shape" and put up for sale. And so hours later after making several loops through the house I now sat in the main hall of the house. I hadn't found too many things I would consider of great importance, but what sat in front of me was all I needed. First I had my father's hunting jacket which I remember his taking off every day after coming home and setting it in the coat closet. Secondly I had the brown back leather photo alum Prim had put together over the years along with any other photos I had slipped from their frame along the walls and end tables of the house. Thirdly I had the gold pendant of a mockingjay my father had given to me for my tenth birth day.

…

I had only been to the Meadow Cemetery once and that was when my father died. I didn't go to Prim's funeral, I just couldn't bring myself to it. But now I was going to do it, I was going to visit my father and sister. Yet now as I wandered through the tombstones I felt a sort or apprehension build inside me. My steps slowed as I began to rethink this idea. I didn't have to visit them today, I could visit tomorrow. But at the thought my brain began to shout at me in protest. And at that point somewhere between being overcome with anxiety and the urge to flee that the tomb came in view. One… two… four step further and I stood in from of the matching marvel stones.

_ Harley Augustus Everdeen  
_

_ A Devoted Father, Husband & Friend  
_

_ "The greatest gift in life is love." _

_Sr. Primrose Penelope Everdeen_

_A Loving Daughter, Sister & Friend_

_"Live to the fullest for life is too short."_

Feeling myself smile a bit as I looked at them side by side I stood there for a moment before sitting crossed legged on the grass. This is it, I told myself, you can do this Katniss. Intertwining my fingers I took a deep breathe. "Hey," I said, "I really missed you." I let out a soft laugh. "Shit, this is harder than I thought it would be. I really _really_ missed you. You missed out on so much dad… but I'm sure Prim filled you in on most of it…. It really sucked not having you there dad," I say as I wipe away a few tears that had begun to glide down my cheek, "And shit, I really wish you were here these last few months, you too Prim. It had been complete crap. It got better at one point though. Haymitch stopped drinking and I met a boy." I pause. "His name is Peeta. I promise he's nice dad, you're threats wouldn't do much good and Prim, you two would get along perfectly together. There's not much to say, he's perfect, he's the one… He told me he loved me. And I fucked it all up, I ran for the hills… I know you're both probably shaking your heads at me in disappointment, but I'm going back. I'm going back to him cause… I love him."

I let out another laugh, wiping my cheeks with the backs on my hands trying to rid my face of all the tears. "I really wish you were here… Since you guys been gone life has been one fucking scary roller-coaster that's doesn't seem to end. I just- I just wish… I love you guys." I sit there with them till the sun goes down. I tell dad of what I have been doing for that last seven or so years between working at the Hob with Sea and making honors and the accident with Prim and how Haymitch had sobered up and how he would approve of Peeta. I tell Prim of how I was after the accident and how I came to meet Peeta and I tell her of Finnick and Rye because I know she would have loved to meet them and I tell her how Rory is doing. I sat there with them till my throat has become dry and there is not much to say. Even when there was nothing left to say I still sat with them till the stars filled the skies.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The Moment

…

"Dammit, Haymitch," I mutter finding another bottle of white liquor in the pantry. I swore I had deliquorized the house a few days ago. Where the hell did this bottle come from? "I wasn't even gone that long and somehow you have the house stocked. It's like living in a fucking liquor store." He let out a laugh leaning against the counter. "Sweetheart you were gone for a good month or two," he laughed, "It doesn't take that long for a reformer drunk to fall off the wagon." I shake my head knowing he was right. I had been gone for close to two months. And then returning back to Naval Cove about two weeks ago I came to find Haymitch living in waste. The day I came back I found him passed out on the couch. There were liquor bottle everywhere, outdated food in the refrigerator, and dirty clothes piled high. I hadn't realized how much Haymitch relied on Peeta to stay "stable." But now it was me whom he relied on. In three days I had the house cleaned and in eight days I had him sober.

And now four days sober in a clean and believe-to-be alcohol free home I finally convinced myself with a little push from Haymitch to go finally see Peeta. So as I tossed the now empty liquor bottle into the recyclable bin I heard the front door open and a pair of footsteps walk into the kitchen. Giving Haymitch and Chaff, who had just entered the room, a stern look I said, "Okay you two, I swear to god if either of you drink or even think about drinking you will wish you were never born." Letting out a soft laugh Chaff clamped his hand onto Haymitch's shoulder. "I'll watch the old chump for you, Katniss. He won't drink a drop; the worst that'll happen to him will be receiving some deadly paper cuts or choking on the awful taste of glue." Cracking a smile Haymitch let out a grunt. I'm sure he was just going to have a ball helping Chaff stuff envelops for his upcoming wedding. "Thanks Chaff," I said nodding my head at him.

Standing there in the silence I shuffled my feet while looking around the room to see what else could be done before I left. The dishes, clean. The refrigerator, stocked. The trash, emptied. The- "Sweetheart," Haymitch said, "Go." I look around the room for an excuse, "The- the oven-" He cuts me off again. "Sweetheart, everything is fine and if five minutes or five hours from now something comes to mind it'll be here when you get back in a few days." Staring at him he stares back. After a minutes time I give up knowing this is one I won't win. So slipping my arms into my father's leather jacket I adjusted my messenger bag over my shoulder. Then grabbing my keys off the counter Haymitch tossed me a hat. "It's gonna be cold." Nodding my head I pulled on the knitted hat. Then once ready I look to Chaff and Haymitch who had begun stuffing and sealing the wedding invitations. "No drinking," I said pointing my finger at them. Chaff mumbled a "I promise," while Haymitch let out a laugh, "Have a good time, sweetheart."

…

A few hours later I was there, here. John Hopkins University. God, I couldn't believe I was doing this. I had called Marcus when I had stopped for gas on the interstate. It was the first time I had talked to him since I left so you could say it didn't go so well at first. Let's just say there was some name calling the first few minutes, but once things calmed it went well. Marcus gave me Peeta's dorm room address and I ended up talking to him, Rye, and their roommate for a while about… whatever. But I was here now. I had found Peeta's dormitory, room twelve third floor. Now I was to just had to knock. Ha, knock, that didn't seem too hard. But standing there I couldn't seem to bring myself to do. After sometime I had begun to angry with myself. Goddammit Katniss, I internally yelled at myself, just know on the damn door already. And then just when I was bringing myself to knock on the door I heard a voice from down the hall calling me. "You looking for Pete," the guy asked. I nodded my head. "He's not here." Thanks for your help, I thought; "Do you know where he is?" "He's at Barfers," the guy said pushing his glasses up his nose, "It's on West Main Street."

…

Slipping the very bulk man with broad shoulders who stood at the front door a twenty I stepped through the doorway and into the bar. Barfers. I had to say it wasn't what I expected it to be. I suppose the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" are some words of wisdom that are meant to be taken seriously. It wasn't the disgusting and gloomy little dive bar its name made it out to be, but it was pretty nice place. The bar was in the bottom level of a large building on the corner of some street and West Main Street. In the place the main bar ran along the left wall when entering, a few booths lined the wall to the left of the bar, a set of pool tables where across from the bar, and a small area in between was filled with high tables which people stood around. Looking around the room there was a good number of people for a Sunday night, but there was no Peeta. Over to the bar I waved down the bartender. Once I had ordered a beer I turned to face the room.

Scanning the room a body slid beside me. It was a boy. He looked to be my age, maybe a year older. His skin was pale, his hair was a pitch black, and his beard was well trimmed with artistic swirls and curves. Watching as he ordered a beer he turned to me. Looking me up and down me bit his lip like he was thinking of something with too much thought. "Hi," I said awkwardly waving my hand in front of his face. "You look familiar," he stated. "I don't believe I ever met you before." "Mh hmm," he noted unconvinced. So continuously biting on his bottom lip and he observed me closely. You could say I was more than glad when the bartender slid our beers across the counter. Twisting off the bottles cap and taking a sip he stuck out his right hand out toward me. "Seneca." "Katniss," I said taking his hand. But he seemed to draw back, nearly choking on his drink. "Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?" I took a step back, how did this guy know my name. "You're her."

"I'm who," I asked. "Katniss, Katniss Everdeen, Peeta's girl," he said, "Or ex-girl, you seem to have done a number on him." Peeta. He knew Peeta. "You know Peeta?" He nodded his head. "Is he here?" He cautiously nodded his head; "Why?" I gripped my beer in angst. "I need to tell him I lo… I need to talk him." He stood there looking at me for a minute. Finally swallowing his beer he nodded his head again. "You fuck this up Miss Everdeen you'll be answering to me. I haven't known the kid for long, but I know he's a good kid. And I don't think I'll be able to pass my math course without his brains so play the game right. Don't go fucking things up." I nodded my head. I won't, I promise, just let me talk to him, I want to tell him, just let me tell him that I love him, please. "He's in the back of the bar by the pool tables. He's playing darts with a few guys. I don't think you'll miss him." Quickly thanking him I made my way through the bar till I came to the pool tables. That's when I saw him.

Peeta Mellark. There he was. It was like seeing him for the first time. He wore my favorite pair of faded jeans on him and a white V-neck thermal that outlined his biceps. His skin tone had lightened to a nearly pale shade from his familiar summer suntanned skin. His hair had grown since I last seen, walked out, him but I liked his length of his curls. And his eyes, they were still that perfect crystal blue, they were beautiful… but there was something new about them, there was something about them that seemed to have disappeared. I missed him, everything about him. And as I watched him as he took one of the darts off the pool table behind him in between his fingers as he prepared for his kill I couldn't help but think of how I never wanted to let him ago again. Still watching he aligned himself with the target and then released. The dart soared through the air piercing the triple ring. The guys surrounding Peeta burst into cheer. Okay, I told myself, now Katniss.

Striding up behind the group I slipped my bag off my shoulder and onto the pool table. Then trading the beer in my hand for one of the darts I took a deep breath. Hear goes nothing and everything, I thought. Then silently stepping up beside him I took in another deep breath. I aligned myself with the target as Peeta did and then released. Bulleyes. And that's when the bar seemed to fall silent or just those around me. But I myself fell silent as well. Turning to face Peeta he was already staring at me. Knotting my finger together I looked down at my shoes. "Katniss," he said causing me to look up. I forced myself to look at him in the eyes. "Katniss," he repeated as if he was confirming I was here. I felt my eyes begin to water. Dammit tears, I thought looking down. Taking a step forward Peeta repeated himself, "Katniss." But I just let the tears cascade down my cheeks.

It was then when he stepped even closer to me cupping my chin in his hand that he lifted my head so I was looking at him. "I'm sorry," I sputtered, "I'm so sorry I was so stupid." Breath. In. Out. In. Out. Seeing me faltering as I count my breaths Peeta ran his hands up and down my arms trying to calm me. "Hey," he said, "It's okay." But it wasn't, it was the farthest things from okay. "No," I say, "It isn't Peeta." "Katniss-" he began to say but I cut him off. "No, Peeta, it's not okay. I fucked things everything up. And I'm sorry, so sorry did. I regret the whole thing… I regret the messing everything up part, not the other part, not the part where we were together and happy… I was so stupid, still am. I just didn't realize or maybe I didn't want to realize it… Maybe it was because of my past or maybe it was something else, but there was, is no excuse Peeta for what I did… From the very beginning I just… just…" I stop myself taking in a few deep breaths gathering my thoughts. In. Out. Breath. In. Out.

"You were, are perfect, Peeta. Everything and anything I ever wanted or even dreamed of you were. And it all scared the shit out of me… It started at the beginning, the moment I met you I was… God! I'm not good with words; you're the one thats good with words Peeta!" And at that point I let everything out. "You're my better half Peeta! The moment I met you was the moment I knew I was a goner… I may not have realized it, but in that moment I knew I loved, love you. I love you Peeta Mellark! I'm sorry I was stupid and difficult. I'm sorry I got stuck along the way and took too long to realize that I loved you. But-" There was no but. There was nothing else to say really. I loved Peeta Mellark and now he knew… and everyone in a ten mile radius of Barfers. "I love you," I say wiping away the last of my tears that now wetted my cheeks.

Peeta smiles down at me, wrapping his arms around my waist drawing me closer. "You love me?" I want to laugh and tell yes, that why I was here, that was what my whole rant was about, but instead I just nod my head biting on my bottom lip too scared to speak. "Good," he said tilting my face up toward his, "Cause I love you too." And that when he kissed me. His lips molded with mine making a perfect fit. Running his tongue along my bottom lip asking for permission to enter I gasped in surprise. But the moment I gasped he slipped his tongue into my mouth deepening the kiss. Letting out a moan I slip my arms around his neck I pulled him closer to me as if I couldn't get enough of him. This kiss is indescribable, it's one of the most passionate kissed we have shared yet. Running my hands through his golden curls we pull away from each other gasping for air. In attempts to catch our breath Peeta leans his forehead against mine as his hands gripped my hips. "You love me," he breaths. I smile against his lips. "Always."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

The Last Call

…

As Chaff helped Haymitch out of the booth leading him toward the front door he gave me a small nod of the head. "Goodnight Katniss." "'Night Chaff," I said with a gracious smile, "Thanks for offering to take him home." He let out a belly laugh, "It's no problem sweetheart, you gotta clean up this place plus you need a break from this old geezer… he can be a real pain in the ass sometime." "Am not," Haymitch mumbled tiredly, "You all just suck… None of you- none of you know how to have a good time." I let out a laugh, "Is that right Haymitch?" He looked at me with great resentment and a little regret for drinking that last shot; and if looks could kill I would be far worse than dead. "Watch it sweetheart, I know I may be an old man, but I can still put up a fight." I let out another heartfelt laugh shaking my head. As soon as my laughter had died and I had calmed down I turned to Chaff, "Thank you, Chaff, really." He politely nodded his head at me before guiding Haymitch out the front door.

Once they were out of sight I let out a deep breath looking to the clock that hung over the bar. One forty-nine. Looking around Rye had already wiped off all the tables and flipped the chairs so they rest on the table tops. And at the moment he was emptying the recycling and trash cans from behind the counter in the back alley of the var. Marvel had swept the floor and cleaned the kitchen up before leaving. Floor, check. Tables and chairs, check. Kitchen, check. Trash, check. Bar… nope, incomplete. Letting out an internal groan I walked over to the bar hopping over the counter. Once over I grabbed the bottle of cleaner and a rag from one of the cabinets under the bar and began to wipe off the counter. It was then that Rye reappeared from the back alley. "Com'on Kitty," he said, "Turn that frown upside down." I shot him a glare, "Don't you have somewhere you're supposed to be." "You mean in my wonderfully comfortable bed beside my lovely girlfriend, Clove," he questioned, "Yes, but I figured I should be a good employee and give my boss her share of the night's tips."

"Aw aren't you just the perfect gentleman," I said sarcastically as I swiped some party mix from the counter top into the sink. "I know I am," he said waving a wad of bills in front of my face, "Buy something sexy would you. Something sheer and laced. Oh, make it red… scarlet would be the perfect shade. Peeta needs a good night in bed with you, you know? Just let him have his way. Maybe you should buy those kink-" I cut him off as I let out a screeching groan in anger as I snatched the wad of money from his hands and shoving it in the back pocket of my jeans. "Oh perfect, that'll make him go crazy," he said, "Now just make that noise when he's going down on yo-" I let out another screech, "Out now!" He lets out a devious laugh knowing he has hit _that_ nerve. "Sweet dreams, Katniss." "Go fuck yourself," I mumble as he makes his way toward the door. And thinking he didn't hear me I am prove wrong as he shouted over his shoulder, "Gladly," followed by the front door clicking shut behind him. Bastard, I think shaking my head.

After quickly rearranging the liquor bottles in their correct placement order I look to the clock. Two twenty-one. Screw it, I think grabbing a glass from under the counter and the closest bottle of rum that I can find. And as I poured some of the rum into my cup I heard the front door creak open. As I put the bottle back in its place I called out, "You're a little late for last call buddy we open tomorrow at three, but otherwise you have to go." But the footsteps grew close. Squeezing my eyes shut I took a drink from my cup. I really hope Marvel's metal baseball bat was still in the corner of the bar, I think, god knows this night had been bad enough and if it came to turns in which I needed a bat I wish to god it was where I thought it was. "Would the beautiful bartender make an exception for my tardiness just this once," a familiar voice said. That voice tugged and pulled at so many memories. It had a great part in an imminence portion of those memories. It was soothing and tranquil. It told hilarious jokes and was the owner of a heartwarming laugh. It settled many arguments and always knew what words to say. It made my stomach turn and my palms become sweaty.

Looking up I came face to face with Peeta's striking blue eyes. They were still that sea of blue that I could lose myself in for hours. He gave me a smile, "So about the exception." I shrugged my shoulder as I felt a smile begin to creep across my lips. "Just this once." "Thank you beautiful." I pointed my finger at him swallowing the rest of my drink, "Don't expect yourself to get away with it anymore though, Mellark. I let you off the hook one too many times." He smiled again showing me his dazzling white teeth that made my knee grow weak. "What if I was really, really sorry and there was something that I could do to make it up to you?" I lean across the counter on my elbows intrigued. "I would ask what could possibly make it all better." He smiled like he was a five year old with the newest and shiniest toy train. "I'm glad you did," he said pulling out a small white, square Mellark Bakery box wrapped in a thin red string from behind his back. He pushed it across the counter toward me. "Open it."

That's when I lost it. My scowling facial expression was replaced by a giddy, childish grin. Taking the box in my hands I carefully unwrapped the red string before lifting the lid of the box. What was inside the white box caused me to smile. Carefully lifting it from the box I set it on the counter. It was a cheese bun. "My favorite." I stated. Unable to control my smile I muttered, "Dammit. Fine, you're forgiven." Peeta lets out a soft laugh, "Oh, but it gets better." Pulling a cigarette lighter out of his pocket I didn't realize the number five shaped candle that he somehow stuck into the top cheese bun till he is using the lighter to lite it. "Five," I question him. He nods his head. "Five," he states, "Five years. That's how long it has been. To this day it has been five years since you have been part of my life. Five years to the day my life changed for the best and I don't regret a moment since." I looked at him. "Not even those ten shots of Marvel's famous vodka, rum, and gin fiesta you did last month." He flexes his jaw in disgust as the horrid memory came back to him. Laughing a bit at it he said, "Okay maybe there's a few things I regret."

Together laughing I can't help, but agree with him. It has been a good five years and most of it is unregrettable in fact I wouldn't mind doing it all over again. Snapping from my thoughts as I felt Peeta's hand reaching over the counter and poking me in the ribs he whispered, "Make a wish." So holding my breath and squeezing my eyes shut I blew out the candle. Opening my eyes I saw Peeta's staring right back into mine. "What you wish for?" I smiled mischievously, "I can't tell you, it wouldn't come true then." "Butt," he muttered under his breath as he removed the candle from the cheese bun tearing it in half. As he handed me half of the cheese bun I leaned over the counter and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you." He kissed me back capturing my lips in his, "I love you, too." We stayed like that kissing till our bones ached and we were forced to give in. As I took a bit of my half of the cheese bun I switched off the lights. Peeta helped me into my father's jacket and before I knew it we were outside the bar locking the door behind us.

…

Draping my jacket over one of the arms of the thrift shop coat rack, Marcus had bought me a few years ago after moving into the flat, Peeta shut the door behind him. Watching him do the same as me, he took off his fleece revealing a tight cotton, blue tee. Then taking his fleece he hung it beside my jacket on the rack. Tiredly I asked, "What time do you have to wake up? Five?" He looked at me with a confused look. "Katniss, it's…," he said looking down at his watch, "It's four o' three on a Sunday morning… It's a Sunday; we both have off from work on Sundays. So no alarm, we get to sleep in." Taking in what he had said I reluctantly nodded my head. "Right, sorry," I said rubbing my temple. It had been a long day. He laughed shaking his head. "Com'on," he said locking his right arm under my knees, his left arm around my back, and picking me up so my body was curled up against his chest and my forehead leaned against the crook of his neck, "Let's go to bed."

Carrying me through the flat he pushed open my bed room door quietly stepping into and then quietly shutting it behind him. Stepping a few feet further into the room he set me down on my queen sized bed from my old room at Haymitch's house. More than gracious for the feel of the soft, cotton sheets between my fingers I had to force myself into a sitting position to change out of my clothes. So swiftly fumbling around I striped out of my black, high heeled boots and socks, gray cigarette jeans and shadowy shaded V-neck tee till I was left in my underwear and bra. Shirt, my mind told me, find a shirt to wear Katniss. Looking around the room I spotted a gray tank top hanging on the back of my door. There's a shirt, my brain told me, get it. So unwillfully standing up I collected my clothes tossing them in the hamper followed by unclasping my bra, taking it off, and pulling the gray tank top off of the back of the door and then over my head.

Finally dressed for bed I turned to Peeta standing across from me in a pair of orange boxer briefs. Watching as he neatly finished folding his cloths into a nice stacked pile on top of the comforted storage bench that stood at the foot of the bed he walked over to the right side of the bed, his side of the bed, and slipped under the covers. Agreeing with his actions I followed suit and crawled into bed beside him. As I slid under the sheets beside him Peeta automatically wrapped his arms around my waist. Then snuggling up against him I rested my head against his chest as our legs intertwined and we fell into our usual position. As we laid there for a long moment in silence I listened to the rhythmic beat of Peeta's heart. _Thud_. It was peaceful and soothing. _Thud._ It was strong and steady. _Thud_. It was caring and loving. _Thud_. It was Peeta's. And as I listened to it beat I couldn't help but smile.

Feeling my eyes grow heavy from the smoothing beat of his heart and the exhaustion from the stressed day I willfully allowed my eyes to shut. Yet I continued to subconsciously trace circles across Peeta's chest. It was as I was repeatedly tracing an infinity symbol along his collarbone that Peeta cleared his throat. "Real or not," he asked. I smiled; he has been asking me that question for the last five years since I had told him I loved him. He said he asked because he had to make sure it wasn't a dream. He said if it wasn't real, if it was a dream, he said he never want to waken up. "Real," I said, "It's always been real." He shifted to kiss the top of my head. "I love you," he whispered against my hair. I nestled even closer up against him so we were inseparable. "I love you too," I said against his chest, "Always."

…

Hi.

Thank you for reading.

I have continued as promised.

_Film of Gray_ is what the new story is called.

I hope you like it.

Thanks.

-Carly


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